Facing heartbreak is hard any time of year; however, it is much harder to face during the holiday season. After all, the holiday season is when we get together with our families and friends, celebrate, and spend time with each other. It’s hard to even show up at a holiday event or celebration after you have gone through heartbreak. Sadly, many people can be insensitive and not care about your experiences, which can be more hurtful.
If you are facing heartbreak this holiday season, here are five ways to face it:
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1. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve
Allowing yourself time to grieve is one way to face heartbreak this holiday season. Many people expect us to just bounce back after a heartbreak, but it doesn’t work like this. You might be going through heartbreak for many reasons, including going through a breakup, going through a divorce, or a loved one passing away. All of these reasons are valid. No matter what you are going through or what caused your heartbreak, know that it is important to allow yourself to grieve. There is nothing wrong or “weak” about allowing space to mourn what was lost.
Going through a loved one’s death or having the love of your life leave you are both challenging. It is hard to face the future without them because you loved them so much. The absence of them in your life is enough to cause you to break down and need some time alone. Know it is completely okay to do what you need to heal. Whether that is spending time alone, having some time to process memories, or something else, know that there is nothing selfish about allowing yourself time to grieve. In fact, it is crucial to the healing process.
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2. Spend Time with Friends and Family
A second way to face heartbreak this holiday season is to spend time with friends and family. I understand that at first you might want to spend time strictly alone, but know that there will come a time when you want to be around others. The perfect people to be around during the aftermath of a heartbreak are your closest friends and family members. It doesn’t have to be a lot of people, but choose to surround yourself with a few people who genuinely care about you, support you, and want the best for you.
By spending time with your family and friends, it will help you to feel better and think about other things. If you want to talk about the heartbreak, real friends will support you and not change the subject to be about themselves nor will they invalidate your pain. Rather, real friends and close family members will be there to support you and help you as you are healing from your heartbreak. They are also great to help distract you from the pain if you don’t want to talk about the heartbreak. You can talk about other things that will get your mind off your heartbreak, such as funny memories, shared experiences, or good times from the past.
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3. Practice Self-care
Practicing self-care is a third way to face heartbreak this holiday season. Self-care is very important as you are healing because you need time to yourself. By doing self-care, it will help you take time to do something you enjoy. Maybe that is going for a long walk, spending time with your pets, or listening to your favorite artist. Make sure to take time throughout this holiday season to practice self-care and to continue to work on your healing. Yet again, it is important to note that there is nothing selfish or “sinful” about practicing self-care.
If you are not sure about what you would like to do for self-care, think about something that is relaxing. It can be anything that is relaxing to you or brings you joy. The more you practice self-care, the more you will be able to include a calming and relaxing part of your day throughout the holiday season. Especially during times of heartbreak, practicing self-care can help greatly in your healing. It reminds you that you are worthy of care, love, and support if you go through someone ending a relationship with you. In the same way, if your loved one passes away, self-care helps to remind you of the importance of taking care of yourself in your time of grief.
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4. Talk with God in Prayer
A fourth way to face heartbreak this holiday season is to talk with God in prayer about it. Oftentimes, many people don’t know what we are feeling when we are going through heartbreak, especially if they have never gone through it themselves. If you try to talk to some of the people like this about your heartbreak, they are not going to be able to support you in the way you need. The One person you can always turn to, who will understand all of your feelings and lift you up in love, is God. He understands all of your feelings, the pain, and the heartbreak. Don’t be afraid to turn to Him this holiday season as you are walking through the pain of heartbreak.
God knows how much the individual meant to you and how much the absence in their life has affected you. If you have heartbreak because your loved one passed away, God can give you the comfort of knowing that your loved one is with Him. He can also give you the comfort of holding your hand as you walk through the pain of the passing of your loved one. In the same way, if you are facing heartbreak because your partner left you, know that God can give you the comfort that only He can provide.
The Lord sees all of your pain and how much you love your partner. The deep anguish, pain, and emptiness that you are feeling are not foreign to God. He understands all of your feelings, and He will not leave you in your time of distress. In fact, God never leaves you. You might feel alone after watching your partner leave you but turn to God. Know that He loves you, and He is always there for you. Sadly, many of us face our partners leaving us, yet we can always rest in the assurance that God never will leave us.
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5. Practice Positive Self-talk
A fifth way to face heartbreak this holiday season is to practice positive self-talk. After a loved one passes away or your partner leaves you, it can be hard to think anything positive about yourself. After a loved one passes away, you can play the game of “what if” and try to think of ways of how you could have prevented their death. As someone who has done this many times, I don’t recommend it. There is nothing you could have done to have prevented your loved one from passing away. You also need to avoid talking badly to yourself, such as blaming yourself for your loved one’s death or dwelling on mistakes you made in the past.
The same goes if your heartbreak comes from your partner leaving you. It can be easy to think bad things about yourself or to think that if you were “better” they wouldn’t have left you. Thoughts, such as if I was “smarter,” “prettier,” or “a better partner” can cause havoc in your mind because you end up blaming yourself. Despite your partner could have left for a million different reasons, it is all too easy to blame yourself for being the reason they left. Rather than thinking these thoughts or talking negatively to yourself, practice positive self-talk.
Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. Be kind to yourself and don’t make any mean comments to yourself. You are already hurting and trying to heal from your heartbreak. It does no good to make things worse by beating yourself up about it or making yourself feel horrible. Instead, work on practicing positive self-talk and say things such as “I am good enough, “Things will be okay,” and “I am strong enough to get through this.” Work on practicing positive self-talk this holiday season and continue to try your best as you heal from heartbreak. It can be a long road ahead, but healing can be found.
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Originally published Tuesday, 17 October 2023.
