Now that we’ve discovered the unmet need or pain behind the comparison, we can begin to formulate a different response when we’re tempted to compare.
We can support this change with what I call “maintenance strategies” (ongoing actions we take to keep ourselves strong overall) and “in-the-moment strategies” (specific actions to take when the trigger strikes). An example of a “maintenance strategy” might be to regularly spend time in God’s word, to get plenty of sleep, and to eat a balanced diet. Meanwhile, some “in-the-moment strategies” could be to walk away from the trigger or to have a specific biblically-based affirmation you can recite that supports the core need involved.
We can ask ourselves:
– What are some healthier ways that I can respond to the trigger behind the comparison?
– What can I do differently to meet the need when this trigger tempts me to compare?
– What is a promise of God that I can meditate on to empower my mind with truth when I’m tempted to lean on comparison for validation?
Step 4: Leave It at the Cross (L)
We want permanent healing, not one-time fixes. That’s where the power of our intentional actions to address comparison pairs beautifully with our surrender to God. Battling unhealthy comparisons takes time and partnership with the Holy Spirit for growth and change.
I mentioned before that our actions are driven by our thoughts, and that our subconscious thoughts (especially those around identity) run the show when it comes to how we handle triggers that can lead to comparison and other self-sabotage behaviors.
This is why I highly encourage you to get to the root of what’s going on in your subconscious thoughts, specifically how your mind may have answered what I call the 3 Big Questions: “Am I worthy?” “Am I enough?” and “Am I loved?”.
I am passionate about helping Christian women understand these “thoughts behind their thoughts” and leading them through a specific process called brain priming to help them replace any subconscious lies (the root behind the comparison behavior) with God’s powerful truth in my Christian Mindset Makeover program (ChristianMindsetMakeover.com). It’s a great next step in your healing journey from unhealthy comparison.
No matter what you do next, here’s a prayer you can pray to help you release unhealthy comparisons to God:
God, when I find myself wanting to compare myself to others, please help me first to notice the behavior and to pay attention to it as important. I pray that you’d give me your loving, compassionate eyes to help me understand what areas of my life need deeper healing. Help me not rush to self-condemnation but to acknowledge why it makes sense that I compare. I pray you’d help me find healthier ways to meet these core needs inside myself, and that specifically, I could strengthen my ability to believe (with every fiber of my being) all of your promises which fully meet my core needs. Wrap your loving arms around me, God, as I remember that I live and breathe for an audience of one—and that audience is You.