The Struggle of Being the Nice Girl with Good Intentions

girl woman looking up stained glass thinking questioning

The Struggle of Being the Nice Girl with Good Intentions

Godly purposes come with all the things that the world hates: pure motives, a humble heart, authentic character, and a genuine spirit. The nice girl with good intentions will never actually be understood by the world.

Ever since I was little, I have had an extreme passion for loving and serving others, and regardless of what other people thought, I always did this out of the honest sincerity in my heart to show them the love of Jesus through these actions. In the world we live in today, however, people can pick and prod at these good intentions. They can scrutinize what you are doing and eventually eat at that beautiful heart of yours, making you feel nothing less than the love you were so desperately trying to give other people.

In the same manner, being the "nice" girl isn't always easy. It can be challenging to face daily life with a huge smile, bright eyes, and glittering compliments for others when no one is willing to return the favor. While we don't do good things expecting something in return, we're often discouraged from being friendly individuals with good intentions.

Good Girl Exhaustion

To be the girl that everyone reaches out to because they know she will listen and genuinely care is exhausting. To be the girl that plasters sticky notes on her friend's cars and makes them their favorite desserts because she knows that it will make them smile gets old. To be the girl that carries around a zillion granola bars and is known for it sometimes creates a hunger in our souls. 

But isn't feeding the hungry souls we interact with what God has called each of us to do? And I suppose that's why only God can understand the true intentions of our hearts, while the world merely persecutes their existence, looking for anything and everything they can mock of their kind actions. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us that we need to guard our hearts above all else, for everything we do flows from it. Yet, even if and when our hearts deceive us, God knows the nature of our hearts and surpasses the best and illest intentions. 

"Whenever our hearts make us feel guilty and remind us of our failures, we know that God is much greater and more merciful than our conscience, and he knows everything there is to know about us" (1 John 3:20, TPT). There is a higher courtroom for the human heart: it is where grace is enthroned. God knows the very worst that is in us and the very best. Thus, He still showers mercy, love, and acceptance upon us, and this is the greatness of God's grace.

What the World Sees

In my life, there have been many times that I did good works for the mere reward of what I would gain. While I would say one thing with my mouth, my heart knew the reality. At that time, my spirit and intentions were sick. I needed Jesus to rebuke and correct me, and He did. But for most actions I've taken, I have done my best to live with the purest intentions others still don't understand.

Why the world can't even begin to fathom that a 25-year-old female loves to do things for other people without the connotation that she will get anything in return, however, doesn't baffle my understanding. The Pharisees asked Jesus the same question any time He healed, gave something away, or opposed their religious beliefs. In fact, this is why Jesus told them in John 8, “if you knew me, you would know my Father also.”

Today, our world doesn't grasp that one's intentions are pure and their hearts are right because we want to share His love with others. 1 Corinthians 2:14 of the KJV defines this problem as a worldly one: "But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness unto him; neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned" (1 Corinthians 2:14, KJV). For this reason, the world mistakes a love radiating so intensely inside of us for fake cynicism or cruel optimism at its best. It mistakes us wanting to make others happy for wanting to get something in return. But if we give from a place of Christ, we give because that's all we know and long to do – it pours out of us naturally as His spirit presses us to serve.

Faith and Perseverance

The world tries to misconstrue the nice girl with good intentions (or nice guy) into the naive girl, with hidden motives: the walked-over girl with no possibility of doing these things wanting nothing in return.

Godly purposes come with all the things that the world hates: pure motives, a humble heart, authentic character, and a genuine spirit. Reasons that never stop seeking good in others, a heart that is so full of Christ it overflows in abundance, a character so real it shares its vulnerabilities with others, and a Spirit so dedicated to being this "nice girl," it presses on amidst the pushback and chaos. 

The nice girl with good intentions will never actually be understood by the world, but the genuine nice girl with good intentions will carry on anyway. She will give until she can give no more, serve until her fingers are blistered and blue, and above all, imitate Christ until all who are lost have become found. She does not become a pushover, easily manipulated girl, but one who stands up for what is right and strives for sanctification. "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48, NIV). 

As Christians, God sees the intricate fibers of your heart and the love that you so desperately want to lavish upon others. And far more significant than that, He not only sees these things because He instilled them within you, but because He lived with the utmost character, with pure intentions, and highly misunderstood by the world.

Do it Anyway

The thing about pursuing goodness with sincere, authentic, and honest intentions. The love one gives to others can't be bought, purchased, traded, or sold. It can't be shut down, destroyed, tarnished, or defeated because the joy found in serving others comes from God. No height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus and is so evidently radiating out of both you and me (Romans 8:39, NIV).

So go ahead, be the “nice girl” with good intentions. Have a heart of humility that fully gives for the sake of others. Be the one who places others' needs above your own and loves unconditionally, even when you know you will do these good deeds without getting anything in return.

Because I have to wonder, maybe God has placed these passions in me because they were first found in Himself. The world won't be able to understand it – do it anyway.

"Wisdom's instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 15:33, NIV)

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Capuski

amber ginter headshotAmber Ginter is an aspiring 25-year-old writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Hoping to become a full-time freelancer, Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic ministry team (Aisthitikós Joy Ministries), and volunteer roles. She is also the author of The Story I've Never Told, which is currently in the publishing process. Amber has freelanced for Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, Crosswalk, No Small Life, Darling Magazine, Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, The Rebelution, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.


Want more interaction with the women of iBelieve? Join our fans, writers, and editors at the iBelieve Facebook group, Together in Faith, for more videos, stories, testimonies, prayers and more. Visit here to join the community!