Both my mom and I allowed Satan to use one of his most conniving schemes—comparison. We judged ourselves against others. The verdict—inadequate to offer hospitality. Perfectionism is the enemy of hospitality.
When I was a kid, my family didn’t have much. My mom, keenly ashamed of our poverty, almost never hosted others in our home. Later in life, when she had more, she occasionally invited people over, but only after planning every single detail followed by an immaculate cleansing.
As an adult, I lived in the south for many years. Boy, did those southern women seem to have it all together when it came to hospitality! Wowed by their beautiful presentation and attention to every detail, I hesitated even to attempt to measure up.
Both my mom and I allowed Satan to use one of his most conniving schemes—comparison. We judged ourselves against others. The verdict—inadequate to offer hospitality. Perfectionism is the enemy of hospitality. I wonder how many of us believe we cannot host others until we have all our ducks in a row. Do any of these excuses echo in our heads?
- My apartment is too small.
- I don’t have much time.
- I’m a terrible cook.
- My house is always a mess.
- It costs too much.
- We’re in the middle of home improvements.
Sites like Pinterest offer a wonderfully wide variety of hosting ideas, but Pinterest Perfectionism can destroy our confidence. We put off inviting anyone over until we can do everything “just right.”
What Does the Bible Say about Hospitality?
Wait, what? The Bible isn’t Southern Living magazine. Why would God care about the subject of hospitality? Surely, He has more important issues to tackle.
God places a high priority on hospitality throughout the Bible. His people, the Jews, were, and still often are today, forced to live away from their designated homeland. That’s why God gave Moses a specific command about foreigners after he freed people from slavery. “You must not mistreat or oppress foreigners in any way. Remember, you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt” (Exodus 22:21 NLT).
God also reminds us to regularly show hospitality to brothers and sisters in Christ in the New Testament. “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13 NLT).
Finally, I believe we can also make the case that God gives us opportunities to spread the gospel through hospitality. In Acts 1:8, Jesus says, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8 NLT). Jerusalem represents home to the original audience of Acts. Aren’t our homes also the most natural places for witnessing about God?
What Is Hospitality?
My definition of hospitality is using your God-given resources to invite people into your heart and home for God’s glory. The Apostle Peter further explains, “Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:9-10 NLT).
This understanding of hospitality relieves the pressure that my mom and I, along with so many others, often feel when inviting people into our homes.
Peter concludes this section of Scripture with encouragement. “Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen” (1 Peter 4:11).
With this exhortation in mind, let’s explore five ways to use your gift of hosting.
1. Remember Your Home Is Given to You by God for Stewardship
In Matthew 25, Jesus relates the parable of a master who gave several servants varying amounts of talents (money) to steward. The master expected the money to be multiplied through investment. Two of the three servants risked the money to produce a profit. The third buried his money and had no increase to show the master.
Consider your home, whatever its size or condition, as a “talent” given by God. So are your energy and time. Will you “invest” these assets to multiply their benefit? Will you make yourself and your home available for God to use whenever and however He leads?
2. Strategically, with Prayer, Invite People to Your Home
According to Peter, God gives each of us gifts chosen from “his great variety.” And there’s also quite a variety of needs among those who might receive our hospitality. How are we to narrow down whom we should host? We go to the One who knows, of course. Ask, and God will direct your efforts.
Peter advises us to hone in on our gifts to maximize them. Do you relate well with children? Host a neighborhood Bible club for kids. What about teens? They always need a fun, safe place to hang out. Throw a pizza in the oven and invite your daughter’s friends over to bake cookies. What if your passion is organizing events? Coordinate a block party so your neighbors can meet and get to know each other. If you’re drawn to cross-cultural opportunities, offer to host a foreign exchange student or a missionary home on furlough. If God’s Word is your groove, invite a small group to come for Bible discussion.
Consider your gifting and ask God to give you creative ideas to express and multiply it.
3. Be Prepared for Last-Minute Opportunities
As a military member, my husband maintained a “to go” bag in case of quick deployment. In the same way, his Grandma Tilly baked several pies each week to serve to friends who just happened to drop in. You may balk at the idea of weekly baking, but you can prepare a hosting “ready” bag. I find that keeping a box of cookie dough in the freezer makes it easy to quickly produce mouth-watering chocolate chip delight at a moment’s notice. Or stash a box of chocolates where no one will raid them, so they’re on hand to serve to a friend along with hot tea and encouragement. Keep an air mattress, clean sheets, and towels ready in case of an unexpected overnight guest. It’s helpful to keep a guest basket stocked with standard toiletries, so you’re not scrounging around if they forgot a toothbrush.
Thinking and preparing ahead of time enables us to display a generous and cheerful attitude when using your gift of hosting rather than feeling put out and grumpy.
4. Keep Your Hosting Authentic to Who You Are
Despite what magazines and lifestyle blogs imply, hosting isn’t one size fits all. Do what matches your personality and abilities. I’m from Pennsylvania Dutch country where a restaurant named “Good ‘N Plenty” attracted thousands of patrons every year because its food was, as advertised, good and plentiful. That’s how I do hospitality. While I admire and enjoy southern attention to detail, that’s not my style.
As you inject your authentic self into hosting, also bear in mind the desired outcome Peter describes. He says everything we do should bring God glory. But I find that often my own glorification creeps into my hospitality. When I become stressed because everything isn’t going according to my carefully laid plans, I know I need to simplify and refocus on my guests and my God. Hosting should never be an outward show. Instead, it should simply display the character of our great God.
5. Open Your Heart Along with Your Home
Ultimately, hospitality is about opening your heart so others can see, touch, and taste that the Lord is good. Hosting others mirrors the heart of Jesus, who died on a cross and became the open door to a relationship with God. And God Himself will be hosting those who choose to follow Him in a magnificent home He’s preparing in heaven.
How is God calling you to throw open the door to your home and invite people to experience God’s blessing?
Related article: How to Identify and Effectively Use Your Spiritual Gifts
