When the Holidays Feel Heavy - Your Nightly Prayer - November 18th

When the Holidays Feel Heavy
Your Nightly Prayer
By Chelsea Ohlemiller

TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -  Matthew 11:28

SOMETHING TO PONDER

The boxes filled with festive decorations I haul from the basement to my living room are just as heavy as the grief I carry during the holidays. Since my mother died, the blessed matriarch of our family, traditions feel incomplete, which means holidays do too. No matter how strong her influence and love flow through our lives and our house, there is always an emptiness, an ache. 

Grieving hearts can sense the arrival of the holidays without ever looking at a calendar. Our bodies remind us. Our emotions can sense both joy and the absence of approaching. It can feel like the loneliest time, even with the hustle and bustle, even with a schedule filled, and even with colorful lights glowing on everything and everyone that surrounds us. 

In the first years after the loss of my mother, I performed. I smiled and sang and rejoiced- not only in the church pews but at each family tradition and gathering. I hid my longing. I carried grief’s heaviness, never allowing it to be seen, nor held or burdened by anyone but me.

I performed.

It helped no one, me included. It taught others to hide their grief and, worse, showcased that I was fine when in fact, I was not fine.

One year, as I sat unboxing holiday decorations for a holiday I was sure would never feel the same, instead of performing, I prayed. There was no earthly audience to hide my heartbreak from, so I shifted from performance to prayer. I prayed, asking for the rest and comfort God promises. I asked for the heaviness to lighten and for my loss to be acknowledged. I leaned on Matthew 11:28- “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I went to God. I revealed it all: the despair, the loneliness, the stress, and the grief. Instead of pretending, I prayed. And I realized I had spent so much energy performing, when instead, the best result could and would only be found with God.

As you enter this season of glamorized joy and chaotically filled calendars, remember the reason for the season- Jesus, faith, and God. Find comfort in their presence. Find their acknowledgements of your pain and loneliness and accept their promise and their invitation to rest, and even larger, to transition from performance to peace.

With God, peace is possible. Comfort is possible. All you have to do is stop pushing through, stop pretending, and simply pause and pray.

YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER

Lord,
When the holidays are heavy and the joy isn’t coming easily or authentically, please remind me of your presence. Remind me that the goal isn’t to perform for others with a smile but instead to find peace and comfort in your promises. Remind me that my heartbreak is seen, even when it feels invisible to everyone, and worse, when it feels forgotten. Allow me to let go of the expectations, both of others and myself, so that I can pause and acknowledge my grief and my burdens, and then, in gratitude and comfort, acknowledge you, which in return will lighten their weight and their overwhelm.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON

1. A time this week that you can prioritize rest over obligation. Is there a place in your schedule that you can provide space for pause? As the invitations come for holiday celebrations, can you create an invitation for yourself to rest?

2. When things get busy and holiday schedules get chaotic, can you remind yourself to pray, instead of pushing through? When you feel yourself on an automated path, can you instead pause and pray? 

3. List your expectations and review them to see which ones others place on you, and which ones you place on yourself in the mission to follow tradition and feed the souls of others. Can you find places to let go?

Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.

Photo Credit: Rodion Kutsaev/Unsplash

Chelsea Ohlemiller is an author and speaker passionate about raising awareness of grief’s impact on life and faith. She has an active and engaging social media presence and is well-known for her blog, Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities. Her first book, “Now That She’s Gone,” will be released in August. She lives in Indianapolis with her husband and three children, who are the driving force behind all that she does.

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