“I have something I wanna talk to you about.” An elder from our church had approached my husband during a routine coffee meeting. He started by saying how much he cared about our family and didn't come to him to hurt or offend him. The elder wanted us to know something because he believed in the concept of holiness. Before worship team practice, he had a conversation with our daughter regarding the music she liked to listen to. She told him she really wanted to listen to a controversial artist. He asked her why she listened to that type of music and whether she knew he wrote deprecating lyrics about women and was not a godly example for kids or teens to emulate. Our daughter shrugged her shoulders and went on her way.
The dictionary defines holy as “exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness.” Jesus was the perfect example of holiness, and He expected His disciples to follow His example. However, in recent generations, this concept has been largely lost, as children and teens struggle to distinguish themselves from the world and remain devoted to Christ. With music and television shows that tout explicit lyrics, and social media feeds that bombard us with violence, false doctrines, and ungodly examples from those proclaiming they are Christians, it’s no wonder we have difficulty discerning what is right and wrong when it comes to demonstrating a Christlike example to the world.
That elder believed worship leaders should be set apart for the Lord. This meant not only that Christians try to act in accordance with the word of God, but also that they were authentic in their behavior, meaning they were the same person Monday through Saturday, as they were on Sunday. He was not opposed to our daughter singing on the team, but he believed she should eliminate that type of music if she wanted to be a worship leader. Although we had conversations with our daughter regarding her music, wardrobe, etc., she couldn't grasp the concept that part of a Christian's life is to exemplify holiness.
Although the idea of holiness is not limited to a person’s dress but extends to every area of our lives, our lack of commitment to holiness may reflect a deeper issue in our hearts. Outward behavior reflects inward character. Luke 6:45 says, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” In today's world, Christians struggle to distinguish between living in the world and being of the world. When we scroll on their Instagram feeds more than we flip through the pages of our Bibles, non-believers see little difference between us as people who claim to know Christ and those who live like it.
How do we demonstrate the concept of holiness in our everyday lives? Here are some ways to do that:
Be an Example
The most effective way to reinforce any spiritual concept is to demonstrate it in practice. As it is, we don't read their Bibles often enough. Use commentaries and other resources to help explain the word, so that you can apply it to your life. As Christians, we will ultimately become the definition of what a Christian looks like to others. We must live out a godly example and do our best to avoid behaviors that would make us look more like the world.
If you are unsure how best to do that, emulate the example of people within our church or community who most closely resemble Jesus. The people you choose may not be the natural choices in the church. Sometimes, the people in charge of the church's ministries don’t act like Jesus. Use discernment when selecting these individuals. Just because someone recites Bible verses and prays publicly does not always make them the natural choice. Pray and ask God to guide you in making the right choices. Sometimes it’s the people who quietly lead by example who are the people you most want to emulate.
Let the Holy Spirit Convict You
Ultimately, the Holy Spirit is the one who needs to convict you in every area of your life. If you choose to spend your time trying to look a certain way, you may give others the mixed message that you are embarrassed by them or that you care only about their outward appearance rather than what is going on inside. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict you. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you in a way that only you can understand. Not only will this enhance your spiritual life, but you will also be able to seek advice from someone who has struggled with this concept as well.
Following the example of Christ is hard enough in today's world, let alone teaching your children how to practice what they read and hear. Instead of merely saying you need to be set apart from the world, be the best example you can. Surround yourself with people whom you want to adopt as role models and let the Holy Spirit do its work of conviction.
Holiness is a heart issue. Allow your child to examine and change theirs so that their outward example, including their appearance, will reflect an inward transformation that only the Holy Spirit can initiate.
Get Rid of Hindrances
If you find you are struggling with your private versus public life. Remove any obstacles that are hindering your progress. For example, if social media makes you covet possessions or desire popularity, consider taking a break from social media. Do the same with TV and radio. Analyze your playlists. What artists are a good influence on you? Which ones cause you to think or act like the world? Delete those artists that don’t give you a good motivation to be holy. If you are unsure, check their lyrics with the Holy Spirit. How do you feel when you listen to that music? Do you feel a sense of conviction that you shouldn’t be listening to it? More than likely, it is the Holy Spirit.
Don’t ignore the Spirit’s conviction. The more you ignore it, the less you will be able to discern between right and wrong. God gave you the spirit for a reason. He is there to guide you into all truth.
Get Accountable
Accountability is key to eliminating the sins that hinder holiness from pervading our lives. Find someone you trust to confess your sins regularly. Just knowing you must check in with someone is enough to make you stop that sin. Other times, it is the key to breaking the stronghold that sin can have in our lives. Find a person who won’t just tell you what you want to hear, but also what you need to hear to become a Godly person.
Living a holy life is easier said than done. Although God does not expect perfection, we should do all we can to be the holy people set apart from God. By following the suggestions above, you can take the first step towards living a life worthy of Jesus’ name.
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