Loving Family, Different Beliefs: A Nightly Prayer

Loving Family Members Who Believe Differently

By: Greg Grandchamp

TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.Colossians 3:13-14

SOMETHING TO PONDER

It is no secret that there seem to be greater divisions today than at any other time in our lives. And those divisions are not just political – although political disagreements can certainly create a wide divide. Perhaps they believe in a different faith or denomination. Perhaps they’re agnostic or even an atheist. And let’s remember – believers or not, they may live their lives in a way that you don’t agree with.

How many have experienced some type of divide with family because of something you believe that they disagree with? Yeah, me too. But it is important that we not let those detachments, those separations, come from us. We must set aside any disagreements or disputes, political or otherwise. When these divisions come – as they may – it is important that we choose to let the most important thing be the most important thing in our relationship. Love. By that, I mean love for others that reflects the light of Christ in a dark world. We are called to love our neighbors, and our “neighbors” include family – even the difficult ones.

You may think that what they believe is crazy – yet still love them. You might wonder how in the world they have come to such a conclusion – yet still love them. Please remember, it is not ours to win every argument – it is ours to model love, grace, patience, and humility in our interactions. Not every disagreement must be debated.

Let us each remember there will be times to remain silent and times to speak. There will be times when truth is absolutely needed. If someone asks sincere questions – “…be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” (1 Peter 3:15-16) Other times, a family member may seek guidance.

However, when your silence would communicate approval of something harmful, or sinful, or untrue about the Lord’s teaching, do not be afraid to speak up. Gently, in love and grace and with truth.

Sometimes, when you know ahead of time that disagreements may arise with someone you’ll be seeing, the wise choice is to remain silent. To wait and listen. And if they comment – ignore it if you can. Speak only when the truth is absolutely needed, or if someone is asking. But always answer with gentleness and humility – and that does not mean with weakness.

Otherwise, if you are engaged not by your own choice, avoid making others feel as if they are being excluded or judged in any way. Show them love without condoning their choices – after all, you can love someone without agreeing with or approving of every decision they make or belief they have. Many good people can believe differently, and we can respect people’s right to believe as they choose. Kindness and love are not acceptance of their beliefs.

Families have indeed experienced a great many disagreements throughout history: different opinions, personalities, life choices, priorities. Disagreement does not have to result in disassociation. Believers can learn to navigate our differences with respect, grace, and wisdom. Our responsibility is faithfulness – not control or victory.

Let us remember that while truth absolutely matters, conversion and transformation ultimately belong to God. We can never argue someone into faith. We must leave the work of faith in the hands of the Holy Spirit.

YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER

Father in heaven, I know that there are times when I allow my disagreement to escalate into an unacceptable form. I pray that you would be with me during those times and put a guard over my heart and over my mouth, Father. Please give me the words you would have me speak, and let your Holy Spirit guide me to know when I should remain silent. Amen.

THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON

Actively listen - don’t just simply prepare the next thing you want to say, waiting for your time to speak. Hear what they have to say. “Be slow to speak and quick to listen.” (James 1:19)
Demonstrate kindness and remain humble – show respect for what they believe, even if you vehemently disagree. Try to understand why they believe as they do.
Pray – Pray to the Lord to guide you and to give you the words He would have you say. And pray that he would put a guard over your mouth. (Psalm 141:3)

Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.

Grandchamp is an author and speaker. His book, “In Pursuit of Truth, A Journey Begins,” is an easy-to-read narrative that offers answers to the most common questions new believers and non-believers have about Jesus Christ (Amazon.) Greg speaks on living out our faith in our daily lives – and on creating true disciples of Christ.
Greg doesn’t pretend to be a pastor, a theologian, or a Bible expert, but offers the perspective of an everyday guy on the same journey as everyone else – in pursuit of truth.
Greg can be reached by email or on Facebook @ Greg Grandchamp - Author.