A Prayer for When You Struggle to Fit In
By Mallory Redmond
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. – John 14:18
Struggling to fit in or make friends in the place or season of life you find yourself? Here are just a few simple things that have helped me through a similar season of life, along with a prayer I regularly prayed for God’s closeness.
Know your identity
When we know our identity is in Christ, we can experience freedom from trying to be the person we think other people want us to be. Trying so hard to fit in with a group is a way of bringing glory to our self and the people we’re looking to for acceptance. Knowing and embracing our identity in Christ brings God the glory.
Explore your interests
Do you know the music, writers, artists, and hobbies that you most enjoy? Or, like me in my adolescence, did your own interests get lost while trying to fit in with others’ interests? Spend some time peeling back the layers of who you are and discovering your own passions.
Find a group or club founded on similar interests
What passions of yours have you discovered? Now that you’re embracing them, find others who will embrace them with you! You’d be surprised how many groups or clubs exist in your area, though it shouldn’t come as a shock to us—we’re all looking for a place to belong.
Volunteer your time
If you’re having a hard time finding the hobby or interests you most enjoy, try volunteering at a church, recreation center, or club in your area. You can serve your community while meeting great new friends!
Reach out
Feeling that we don’t fit in is painful and lonely. The worst thing we can do when we feel weighed down by the ache of not fitting in is keeping it all to ourselves. Finding a counselor or contacting your pastor is a fantastic resource; these people will join you, help you to process your feelings, and might even have some great ideas of how you can get connected to people with similar hobbies.
We want to fit in—all of us do. God created us to be in community with others, sharing our passions and gifts with one another. It is so hard when we cannot find people who share or appreciate our interests. This, however, does not mean that you or your interests do not matter.
As we continue to discover more of who we are, may we never forget whose we are. You are His—a perfect fit for the God of the Universe.
Let’s pray:
Lord, I am just so lonely. My heart longs for friendships, for even one good friend nearby. Lord, I know you wouldn’t let me go through this loneliness without having a good reason for it. Help me long for you and my relationship with you before all other things. I know that if I have you I have everything I need. Help me find satisfaction in you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
I am Mallory—a wife, a writer, and a dog mom to Roger. I love dry humor, clean sheets, sunny days, and frequent reminders of grace. These days, I hang out at malloryredmond.com, where I tell my stories with the hope of uncovering places of connection in our humanity. You can also follow me on Facebook and Twitter.
Related Resource: The Blind Spots Hurting Your Relationships, with Debra Fileta
In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others.
Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection.
If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you. Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Tuesday, 16 February 2021.
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