When I was in college, I thought I would be married the day after I graduated and have all five (!) of my children by the time I was 30. Clearly this was reasonable since I attended a women's college.
If this had been the case, then I have every confidence I would now be a twice-divorced, single mom of 5 kids. Thank GOD He knows better than we do.
In my twenties, and even into my thirties, I danced my way through what my bff-Karen calls a parade of fools. At any point, I could have said (and did): "This is The One." The truth is, anyone can get married. But I don't want to marry just any guy. I would rather be single the rest of my life than to choose the wrong person.
To be honest with you, I don't know why I'm still single. I certainly didn't beg God for 'singleness' to be my platform for ministry but, for whatever reason, it is one way He sees fit to use me right now. And I want God to use me in whatever season I find myself.
I don't know why you're still single, either. As pretty as you are? As precious? As smart? Girl, I have no idea. I do know that sometimes it just plain stinks to live with that longing in our heart that feels like it can only be met by that one special love of our life. It's a little bit like scratching an itch you can't find.
I am happy to say that God has given me the grace to enjoy this season of singleness, and not just muddle through it, however long it is meant to last.
Not only do I have the benefit of buying those cute shoes I love (even if it means I have to live off Cheerios for a month), but there are other great perks, as well. One benefit of the single life for which I've been grateful is that I am fully engaged and available to my girlfriends and family when they need me. I'm also available to do whatever it is I feel God is leading me to do while only considering my own needs. As a result, I can use this time to pursue Him with my whole heart. I know that sounds cliché but let's face it, our attentions are divided if the time comes for us to walk through life with someone else.
Just as we are not promised a life without worry, we are not promised marriage. But be encouraged, girls -- if God has given you the desire for marriage, then He (not ourselves) will be faithful to fulfill it because He's sweet like that.
Meanwhile, Paul calls our singleness a gift...and I for one want to treasure that gift. Single friends, let's choose to be fully present and alive in our lives just as they are now. I don't want to miss one single thing that the Lord is doing in, through and around me because I am wondering what's coming down the road.
In case you're still not inspired to enjoy the single life, perhaps this will help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBC7pilGoPc&feature=related
"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do." -- 1 Corinthians 7:7-8
Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
A native of Chapel Hill, Mary Kathryn Tyson lives in eastern NC with The Cutest Dog in the World. http://marykathryntyson.wordpress.com
© 2011 by Mary Kathryn Tyson. All rights reserved.
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