It’s just another reminder that they can no longer surprise you with breakfast in bed, laugh at your jokes, or hug you close.
Valentine’s Day is a trail of ghosts for many people, whether it’s a loved one gone from this earth, a loved one who willingly left, or a loved one who only lives in wishes and dreams. So what do we do when this holiday leaves us haunted by pain and disappointment? Where do we turn to get through all the sappy social media posts and television ads screaming, “This is what you’re missing!”?
We cultivate meaning from heartache. We sow seeds of hope and let truth rewrite our narrative surrounding Valentine’s Day. We don’t run from the day. We take it back with joy.
You see, God didn’t make us to be ostriches, to stick our heads in the sand when life gets scary or uncomfortable. In fact, Scripture says we are to remain vigilant (1 Peter 5:8), to keep our eyes wide open for what’s around us. Thus, if we can’t go around reality, can’t go under reality, and can’t go over reality, we must go through it. We can’t duck and dodge the misery that’s rooted in our hearts. That’s an internal problem, not an external one we can separate ourselves from.
So what does cultivating joy practically look like this Valentine’s Day?
It looks like identifying the ways God grants you consistent delight. Is it thrift shopping, cooking a new recipe, or crafting? Do you enjoy orchestra concerts, local coffee shops, or trips to the nearby lake?
Make one or two of these things part of your Valentine’s tradition. Invite close friends, the kiddos, your mom, your dog, or whoever else brings you joy and is available.
Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, which means it’s not a natural part of our nature. We are bent towards worry, doubt, and depression. Often, this is a defense mechanism to protect us from further hurt, but it’s a faulty one because it never lets us move forward. Our hearts become hermits, and life leaves us isolated from everything—especially the good things.
Ask God to grant you joy this Valentine’s Day. Allow Him access to your bitter, skeptical, cynical heart. As you listen for His guidance and seek special ways to cultivate new Valentine’s fun, rest in the knowledge that joy is a gift that sustains. Will joy be challenged? Of course. But joy was meant to stay, to show up year after year for the mushy holiday that has always left you nauseously grumbling.
So go on, let joy in. Give her a chance. And see what God has in store for a willing, open heart this Valentine’s Day.
Let’s pray:
Father, for many of us, Valentine’s Day isn’t a celebration. It’s an annual reminder of dashed expectations, disappointments, and things that will never be. It’s a day that feels rooted in our past, an attack on our worth and our future. Regardless of circumstances and the enemy’s lies, give us the strength to seek your Spirit’s joy, to dig deep and actively discover ways you grant us beauty and goodness, no matter our life season. Above all, may we feel your loving presence like never before this Valentine’s Day. We praise your almighty name and thank you for gifting us a joy that forever stays. In your holy name we pray, Lord, Amen.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/agrobacter
Related Resource: How to Stop Comparing Your Prayer Life and Start Praying for Real
Have you ever listened to someone pray and thought, Well… I’ll never sound like that? In this encouraging conversation, Donna Jones sits down with author and speaker Shellie Tomlinson to talk about the comparison trap in prayer—and how to get free from it. Shellie shares why God isn’t looking for “perfect prayers” or spiritual clones. He wants you. We unpack simple, practical habits that help you linger with God, stop quitting when your mind wanders, and remember that prayer isn’t the goal—a deeper relationship with Jesus is. Shellie shares one simple reminder about approaching God in prayer that I’m sure I’ll never forget. You don’t want to miss it! If this episode of That's Just What I Needed helped you prioritize what matters most, be sure to follow the show on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Thursday, 05 February 2026.
SHARE
