“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
The Bible’s definition of guarding your heart is to protect and keep it with all diligence. But as humans living in a fallen world, we’re prone to letting our guards down, allowing the enemy to deceive us.
Valentine’s Day is an especially vulnerable time when “love is in the air” and can cloud our vision. Unmet needs or expectations can lead us to compromise God’s loving standard and veer from His Word. That’s why it’s important to put safeguards around your heart, and, as Proverbs 4:23 from the Living Bible says, “guard your affections.”
As Valentine’s Day approaches, here are 5 specific guards to put around your heart.
Guard Against Unreasonable Expectations
“And he said to them, ‘Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.’” (Luke 12:15 ESV)
As paper hearts, cards, and flowers fill public spaces, they’re reminders of the love we long for. Jewelry commercials feature sparkling diamonds, suggesting that true love is expressed through such lavish gifts.
While it’s nice to give and receive gifts on Valentine’s Day, our expectations can become unreasonable. Jealousy and comparison take root as we see others receiving what we desire.
In this nightly prayer post, Amanda Idleman shares openly, “So many times, I’ve spent my birthday or our wedding anniversary tearfully fighting with my husband because my lofty expectations did not match what the day held. The sad part is that I missed out on what good the day did have because of grief over unspoken and unrealistic expectations.”
When expectations rise to unhealthy levels, we miss out on key moments of blessing. Yes, Valentine’s Day is a special occasion when gifts are given, but we need to guard our hearts carefully to prevent unreasonable expectations from ruining the celebration.
Here are a few ideas that might help:
• Agree to give cards only, with written expressions of love and commitment to one another.
• Share your expectations openly and ask your loved one how they would like to celebrate.
• Focus more on meaningful experiences instead of tangible gifts: Concerts, day trips, and Couple’s Scavenger Hunts are great options!
Prepare in advance to be content this Valentine’s Day. Pray for joy and peace as the day approaches. Focus on Psalm 37:4, which says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Lord Jesus, please guard my heart against unreasonable expectations and help me find true contentment in You.
Guard Against Self-Pity
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?” (Psalm 13:1-2)
When King David questioned the Lord’s timing, he wasn’t being disrespectful; he was genuinely struggling with his thoughts and the sorrows of his heart. We all go through seasons of questioning, especially when we aren’t certain of how things will unfold. However, we must guard against self-pity, which distorts our view of our loving, compassionate Father.
As Carolyn McCulley writes, “Self-pity turns our gaze inward, focusing only on ourselves. It says, ‘I am worthy of so much more! Why has this been withheld?!' It is a response of pride; therefore, it is accompanied by an inconsolable, demanding spirit that fuels the emotion. Self-pity leads us to assume the worst: ‘Lord, don't you care?’”
Her words are an essential reminder that God does care. He is still working. He knows, sees, and hears. One way of resisting self-pity is to turn self-centered thoughts into declarations of praise. As David said, “I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises.” (Psalm 34:1)
Lord Jesus, please guard my heart against self-pity and help me focus on Your incredible blessings.
Guard Against Unhealthy Thought Spirals
“When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comforts delight me.” (Psalm 94:19 AMP)
When was the last time you saw a post on social media and felt a twinge of jealousy? Maybe it was a family photo with matching outfits, or perhaps it was a snippet of a beach vacation - a holiday you’ve always dreamed of.
Guarding our hearts against unhealthy thought spirals is especially important as Valentine’s Day approaches. Comparing our lives to others will always leave us feeling let down, left out, or envious. And the Bible is clear: “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” (James 3:16)
This passage might sound harsh, but jealousy is no joke. It only leads to toxic thoughts that waste time and energy and steal our peace. Instead of focusing on what everyone else is doing, we can create our own meaningful memories. Here are a few ideas:
• Set up a photo backdrop in your living room with hearts, streamers, and balloons.
• Make a special Valentine’s Day breakfast such as heart-shaped waffles topped with strawberries and whipped cream.
• Get out of town and enjoy a romantic day trip.
• Create an “I love you because…” poster, and include favorite things you love about your spouse.
The quickest way out of an unhealthy thought spiral is to disrupt your thought process. Focus on what matters most, as Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.” (NKJV)
Lord Jesus, please guard my heart against unhealthy thought spirals and help me fix my mind on You.
Guard Against Compromise
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5)
For couples dating, Valentine’s Day can be a temptation to compromise purity standards. Couples might dismiss their convictions and make concessions to push past physical boundaries.
By placing a guard of purity around your heart, you’ll be less tempted to yield to fleshly desires and better equipped to handle compromising situations. In fact, guarding yourself in this way will prevent compromising situations in the first place.
• Instead of spending the evening alone, you’ll stick to friend groups and public spaces.
• Instead of focusing on outward appearance, you’ll make inward beauty a priority.
• Instead of following the world’s opinions, you’ll maintain a Biblical standard.
• Instead of going with the flow, you’ll make a plan and stick to it.
Remember Hebrews 4:15, which says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Jesus helps us in our weaknesses. He knows what tempts us and is faithful to provide a way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13) Pray hard for the Lord’s strength this Valentine’s Day, and set a guard against compromise.
Lord Jesus, please guard my heart against compromise and help me exercise self-control.
Guard Against Division
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Ephesians 4:3-6)
One of the enemy’s strategies is to cause division, and he’s awfully good at it. In marriages, families, and friendships, he drives wedges every chance he gets. Valentine’s Day is Satan's prime opportunity to interfere, causing arguments and divisions. Putting a guard around your heart means recognizing his tactics and stopping him in his tracks.
James 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Resisting means taking your offenses to God and leaving them at His feet. It means forgiving others again and again. It means saying “no” to the whispered lies that cause division.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, guard against potential wedges in your relationships. Cling to Romans 12:10, which says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
Lord Jesus, please guard my heart against division and help me cultivate an atmosphere of unity with others.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Marinela Malcheva
