"You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope." Psalms 119:114 (NLT)
Four years ago, my dreams as an author were shattered. I'd spent over a year writing my story, crafting my one sheet, preparing my book proposal, and gearing up for my first-ever writing conference. Though it was virtual, nerves radiated through my body. But in a minute, my hopes were crushed.
Somehow, by a glitch in the Zoom call, the agent couldn't see me sitting in the waiting room. Not only did she think I'd skipped the pitch appointment altogether, but it made me look unprofessional from the get-go. After rescheduling our meeting for later that day, I was mortified when she told me this book wouldn't work in the market. Her feedback was harsh, but she was right; no one would buy a memoir from little old me.
And so, defeated and broken, I wept. I didn't write for months and thought maybe I'd heard God wrong. If He called me to write, it definitely didn't feel like it.
In a way that only God could, He led me in a new direction. I was given direction, re-direction, and inspiration. Three years later, I would quit my teaching job in faith that I was now ready to publish. I would also go on to pitch to that same agent, be offered a contract on the spot, and sign with her.
Looking back, it’s been a year since I signed with that agent. I’ve experienced joy and much sorrow. Seventeen rejections later, I’m still waiting for the right publisher. My hope has wavered, but I haven’t lost it. I still need to continue to grow. To be more established. To keep serving. And so I will. I know my time will come, in accordance with the Lord’s. And though I grow weary, I won’t lose hope in doing good.
As Proverbs 13:12 confirms: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (NIV). When hope is delayed, it can make us feel physically and mentally ill—I know it did for me. I felt like I would never sign an agent or make it in the publishing world. Even now, working to find a publisher threatens to steal my hope. I grow weary and tired of doing good. And yet I cling to the second half of this verse: When the Lord says the time is right, that longing fulfilled will give birth to a tree of life. Not just any tree, but a tree that produces even more fruit than I could ask, think, predict, or imagine.
Isaiah 60:22 says it this way: "The smallest family will become a large family group. The smallest tribe will become a powerful nation. When the time is right, I, the Lord, will come quickly. I will make these things happen" (ERV). And why does that bring me hope? Because when something is the Lord's will, He will make it happen in His timing. The longing is often painful. The waiting causes us to doubt and question more than we'd like to admit. But God withholds no good thing from us unless it's good for us to wait (Psalm 84:11).
If you're struggling to hold onto hope, friend, please know you're not alone. I see you, and I've been there, but more importantly, God sees you and cares. When it’s hard to cling to hope, hold on even tighter. Don’t let go. He’s never going to let go of you.
Let's pray:
Dear Jesus, clinging to hope when things are swell is easy. We know you’re good and your will shall prevail. But when we encounter difficulties, please remind us that you’re still faithful and true. Help us to not lose hope no matter what comes our way, but to look to you and the eternal hope you bring. We praise, thank, and love you, Lord. Amen.
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Janko Ferlic
Related Resource: CMA Country Christmas Artists Share Their Stories of Faith
The Christmas season is a beautiful time when the light of faith often breaks through in the most surprising and wonderful ways—and sometimes, right on prime-time television! We love watching artists who sing and speak from their hearts and who have shared their Jesus Calling journey with us, step onto the world’s biggest stages. We’ll revisit powerful moments of inspiration and deep connection from GRAMMY award winning artists Bebe Winans and Hillary Scott from Lady A, plus CMA Song of the Year Award winner Jordan Davis, who will also be co-hosting this CMA Country Christmas special.
Originally published Wednesday, 23 July 2025.
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