How to Have Peace When People You Love Struggle - iBelieve Truth - March 7, 2024

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3, ESV

Do you ever wonder if you can be okay when you know people you love are struggling?

I’m wondering if one of these situations resonates with you:

-You are a parent with adult children who struggle spiritually or financially. 

-You have a loved one who struggles with an addiction.

-You have aging parents who need care.

It can be so hard to stand by and watch from the sidelines as our loved one’s life seemingly spins out of control. Not allowing their troubles to become our trepidation and inner turmoil is even more challenging. 

When we see our loved ones walking through difficulties, our thoughts spiral. We hyperfocus on worst-case scenarios. Our loved one's discomfort makes us so uncomfortable that we mistakenly believe that the responsibility to rescue them is ours to own. We can even think that the loving thing to do is jump in and solve their problems. 

Don’t get me wrong; there are times when the Holy Spirit may be prompting you to intervene. God certainly uses His people to help others. However, these decisions must be made carefully. We must pray for wisdom and seek godly counsel because our help is not always necessary, and sometimes, it can cause more harm if we attempt to usurp God’s sovereignty. 

We may never know why God allows our loved ones to walk through trials and troubles. But we can learn from Scripture that God instructs us to rejoice in suffering because it produces endurance, character, and hope (Romans 5:4-5). We also know that God utilizes affliction to refine and purify us. He uses the troubles in our lives to make us look more like Him to the world around us (Isaiah 48:10-11). 

We know from God’s Word that despite how terrible the suffering of our loved ones looks on the outside, God is always using it for our good, their good, the good of others, and His glory. This is why it's so important for us not to interfere without God’s prompting us to do so. We would never want to hinder the good growth God wants to do in our loved ones by interjecting ourselves into a situation God is using to reveal more of Himself to the ones we care about most. 

They need God way more than they need us!

Now that we have worked that out, what in the world do we do while we wait? I’ll tell you what I don’t recommend, but it's what I fear most of us do—we fret. But we don’t have to make ourselves sick with worry. Our key verse tells us exactly what to do to experience God’s perfect peace:

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3, ESV

Friend, if God tells us to step out of the way of His work for our loved ones, we can trust that He will take care of them. And He will do a much better job than we ever could because He is all-powerful, everywhere at one time, and He knows everything. I don’t know about you, but remembering God’s omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience gives me peace! It's that simple. We can use our thoughts to worry and fret over worst-case scenarios, or we can fix our thoughts on the character and nature of God and remember His trustworthiness. The first way will make us crazy and the latter will fill us with peace! We, indeed, can be okay even if the people we love are not. 

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord, 

Thank you so much that we have access to peace despite our external circumstances. Lord, please help us remember that while we cannot control the circumstances swirling about in our lives or the lives of our loved ones, we can control our thoughts. Forgive us for thinking we need to be you. You certainly make a better God than we ever could, and you are trustworthy. Jesus, help us fix our thoughts on you so we can experience your perfect peace. In your name, we pray, amen. 

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Jachan Devol

Ashley Moore is a writer and host of be the two™podcast. She is known for her relatability and for passionately writing and speaking about mental, emotional, and relational health from a biblical worldview. She has written for Kingdom Edge Magazine, Guideposts, Crosswalk, The Secret Place, enLIVEn, The Bubbling Brook and more. If Ashley isn't writing, you can find her with her husband, three children, and two floppy-eared Goldens on their south Georgia farmland. The best way to connect with Ashley is to grab a free devotional or Bible study and join her newsletter at free.ashleynicolemoore.com.

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