What Your Husband Really Wants - Girlfriends in God - February 7, 2018

February 7, 2018
What Your Husband Really Wants
Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,” (Matthew 7:12 NIV).

Friend to Friend

If there’s one thing I know about us girls, it’s that we like romance! We love romance novels, romance comedies, romance tragedies, and romance, romance, romance. Most gals would much rather take in a romantic movie than an action film. And what woman doesn’t dream about her husband romancing her the way he did when they were dating? But guess what, that man of yours longs for romance too

One night Steve and I were planning a romantic evening at home alone. We borrowed a movie from our friends Gene and Sheri. A Vow to Remember promised to be a real tearjerker. The couple on the DVD case appeared lost in each other as their arms intertwined in a lovers’ embrace. The back cover boasted, “Capture your mind, your heart and your soul…Paints a compelling picture of forever love.”

The lights were dim, the candles were lit, and the mood was set. However, when Steve placed the movie in the DVD player, we were not greeted with strains of a melodious theme song or misty-eyed romance. Oh, no. It was Arnold Schwarzenegger with machine gun at the ready! Our romantic evening was rudely interrupted by The Terminator.

Gene had placed the wrong movie in the case!

Perhaps romance in your marriage has a greater resemblance to The Terminator than A Vow to Remember.

When a wife doesn’t feel cherished, she’s not as interested in being physically intimate with her husband. When a wife withholds physical intimacy from her husband, he doesn’t feel like showing affection to his wife. Okay. So that’s a problem. Someone has to make the first move. It could be you.

Jesus said, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you,” (Matthew 7:12). We call that the Golden Rule. Isn’t it interesting that a wedding ring is often called a band of gold?Whether a wedding ring is gold, platinum, silver, or bronze, the Golden Rule certainly applies in a marriage relationship.

We should never give with the ulterior motive of receiving. James warns that even our prayers can go unanswered when we pray with wrong motives (James 4:3). But the truth is, most of the time when we romance our husbands they become more romantic in return.

The Golden Rule for romance could be, Express your love to your husband in the same way you want him to express his love to you. Sticky notes of love on his bathroom mirror, romantic texts in the middle of the day, and declarations of how proud you are of him are actually showing him ways to love you in return.

Consider this: God fashioned your husband to be a sexual, visual, tactile human being. When you meet his needs, you are ministering to him in a way only you can. God planned it that way.

We need to erase the line separating the sexual and the sacred and realize that being intimate with our husband is an opportunity to glorify God.

Let’s Pray

Lord, help me to be more affectionate toward my husband. Show me ways that I can romance him and love him the way You intended. Remove any barriers that hinder us from being man and wife as You created us to be.

In Jesus’ Name,


Now It’s Your Turn

Read Song of Solomon 7:11-13. What do you think the Shulammite meant in her reference to both “old and new?”

What is one new way you can romance your husband?

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion was adapted from my book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage. Click here for a fun video sure to make you smile! I’m offering a special Valentine’s Marriage Bundle with discounts on four of my favorite marriage resources from February 1-16, so click on over! Let’s make 2018 a year to strengthen our marriages and pray for our men.

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Originally published Wednesday, 07 February 2018.