Girlfriends in God - Feb. 10, 2012

Published: Feb 10, 2012


February 10, 2012
Red Hot Romance: Take T.I.M.E. for Love
Pam Farrel

We hope you are enjoying the Girlfriends in God daily devotions.

We (Mary, Sharon, and Gwen) would like to introduce you to some of our special friends. 

From time-to-time, the Friday devotions will be written by one of our friends in ministry.  We call them our "Friday Friends."  So grab your Bible and a fresh cup of coffee and drink in the words from our "Friday Friend," Pam Farrel.

Today’s Truth
My love calls to me: Arise, my darling. Come away, my beautiful one (Song of Solomon 2:10, HCSV).

Friend to Friend
We live in a relationally time starved world with many of us feeling pressed to find quality moments for our spouse, children, friends and family. Today’s verse is from Song of Solomon, and it brings up one of the questions we asked when researching our book  Red Hot Monogamy. Just how much time does it take to stay in love for a life time? In our life, and from those we have advised over our 32 years together, we have concluded the minimum time commitment to maintain the connectedness for a healthy strong marriage can be summarized with the word T.I.M.E.

Ten – twenty minutes to talk together alone everyday. It is amazing how just making time to talk about things more important than who is going to pick up the milk will reconnect and rekindle your hearts. This is the reason that we place couple communication questions in all of the books we author. Many of the most happily married couples we know, those with a spark in their eyes even after 30, 40, 50 years together, have found the magic in the small things: a cup of coffee and conversation in the morning or a walk around the block in the evening. 

Invest in a weekly date night (or date breakfast or lunch) together for at least 4 hours. We believe in the weekly date time so much that we actually schedule two of these a week because sometimes life interrupts the best laid plans so having twice as much time as we actually feel we need each week for a date ensures that even on the busiest weeks we get at least the minimum. (And this same principle can also help you achieve the time you want with your children or a friend).

A weekly date doesn’t have to cost much either. In Red Hot Monogamy we give over 200 red hot romantic ideas and many of them you can pull off for pennies. Here are a few:

If you hear “your song” on the radio, simply call his/her cell phone and hold your phone up to the speaker and let the song do the romancing.

Create a photo postcard of the two of you and on the backside, write a thank you for that special memory and an invitation out to another romantic activity (or send it via email).

Recreate your first date. If you can still fit into it, wear the same clothes. If not, at least go to the same places.

Check a book out of the library or buy a book of love poems. Sit in front of the fire place in each other’s arms and take turns reading poems to each other. Or write one yourself and read aloud.

Create a series of thank you notes. Send one a day for as many days as you can think of things to thank your mate for. (Or send a daily text message sharing your appreciation).

Each of you should take a blank set of sticky notes (each can choose your own color) and write short affirmations. Place them on the mirror, the rear view mirror in the car; on his golf clubs, in her briefcase, inside his shoe, etc . . . try to find the most outrageous spot to place the love note. (This is fun to do with children too.)

Use everyday items to send a unique set of messages, for example, use the title of a candy bar with a note that says, “You are a “Big Hunk” or a note on a box of cereal reading, “You are my “Life.”

Have dinner someplace different in your home: in front of the fire place, on the rooftop, on the patio or balcony out back, in the attic, under the tree in the back yard, etc.

Use inexpensive dime store Valentines to create a trail of clues that lead to a romantic destination. You can also make this into a fun car rally by taping the Valentines around town, around the mall or leave taped to your friend’s front doors. 

Make a monthly day away policy. At least once a month spend 6 - 10 uninterrupted hours together. This can be anything you both enjoy. Try a new sport or hobby to create some common bonds.

Escape! Try to get away from it all for a 24- 48 hours twice a year—or at minimum once a year for your anniversary! We recommend twice a year with one being a marriage conference to learn new tools and skills, and the other just for rest, relaxation and romance!

Let’s Pray
Lord, help me MAKE TIME for my most vital relationships so those I love sense YOUR love.
In Jesus’ name,

Now It’s Your Turn
Plan to succeed! Which letter in T.I.M.E. do you need more of?  If you are married, get out your calendar and mark off time for your relationship before other things fill your days. If you are single, make a list of your most vital friendships and mark off blocks of time to enjoy fellowship.

More from the Girlfriends
Time is a gift to your marriage, your children, and your friendships. (If you want to check out how God view’s time, see Ephesians 5:15-16) Today plan a time to pull away from the hectic pace of life and enjoying the simple pleasure of a good conversation. Enjoy your T.I.M.E.!

Bill and Pam Farrel are international speakers, authors of over 35 books including best selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.Free relationship articles (like Recession Romance: Free or Nearly Free Dates) and other books and resources like Red Hot Monogamyand Pam’s newest 52 Ways to Wow Your Husbandcan be found at You can connect to Pam by a “Like” to Pam and Bill on Facebookor follow Pam on Twitter.

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Matthews, NC 28106

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Originally published Friday, 10 February 2012.