May 22, 2008
Still Holding Hands
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up….”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
The other day while driving back from the beach, an amazing sunset stretched before us. For me, it was like a love letter from the Lord. Though no words flashed across the sky, there was clearly a message in this beauty.
My mind was drawn back many years. Fifteen-and-a-half years ago to be exact ... December 5, 1992. A young couple stood at the alter having no idea what the vows they nervously repeated meant. "To have and to hold from this day forward"... it was just what the pastor said so they repeated it back in a clueless kind of way.
They felt in love. A giddy kind of electric current drew them together. They liked what they got from each other. It just felt right.
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and talk to myself that day I donned a veil and pranced down the aisle. I would caution that bride that you don't feel your way into real love. You choose your way into real love. I would tell her to look at the verses of 1 Corinthians 13 and not see it as a wish list of how she feels entitled to be treated by her groom. Rather, see it is a list of choices they each must make of how to treat each other.
Instead of reading it, "Your love should be kind and patient and not keep a record of wrongs," I would tell her that they must make the choice instead to say, "We are making the decision that our love will be kind. We will work toward making our love patient. And we will choose not to keep a record of wrongs."
I would tell her to especially listen to the words of the prayer that Art's Dad prayed over us during the ceremony. In one part of the prayer Mr. TerKeurst said, "And then when the sun is setting and the years have gone by, may this couple be found then as now standing together, still hand in hand, still thanking God for each other."
Something about that sunset-love-letter from God the other night brought all this to my mind and made my breath catch in my throat. For I suddenly remembered that wedding day prayer and I must admit I felt convicted.
Somehow in the craziness of life's schedule, I couldn't remember the last time we just took time to hold hands and talk about us. Not our teenager's choices, or the broken down car, or why there are so many weeds this year, or how did your meeting go today, or did you return that video back to the store... not that kind of conversation. No, I mean the kind of conversation that seems harder and harder to find time for in the midst of life.
The kind of conversation that we are overdue for is the kind you remember, treasure, and hold on to. For another day will surely come where these conversations will be the sweetest of all our memories. The day when the sun sets on our lives and one of us will lay the other in the arms of Jesus...may it be that we laughed and talked and freely forgave and lived with no regrets.
Dear Lord, marriage can be so hard sometimes. Please show me how to make sweet conversation time with my husband a priority. Help us to connect on a deeper level than just the quick, necessary conversations in our daily lives. Help us to create the love story we long to live in. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog today to learn about a great marriage building activity.
Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst
The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst
Write out some of the love qualities described in 1 Corinthians 13. Beside each one, write a commitment that you will make to actively love your husband this way. Find other verses from the Bible that relate and commit them to memory.
How can I schedule time to create intimate moments with my husband?
Do I have some wrong attitudes that are contributing to our disconnect?
Have I made praying for my marriage a priority?
1 Corinthians 13: 4-5, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered.” (NIV)
© 2008 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
Originally published Thursday, 22 May 2008.