“What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.” 2 Corinthians 5:11b-12 (NIV)
Sometimes I’m guilty of being such a rule follower that I tend to miss the forest for the trees, as the old saying chides. I look at things from too narrow a perspective, only to miss the bigger picture. It’s easy to slip into the mode of looking at but not really seeing others. Our hectic schedules leave little white space to venture beyond the surface issues. Because of this, it’s easy to pay attention only to the negative. We also have a tendency to cast judgment on those whose hearts we cannot understand. We are guilty of simply being human because, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
For example, I recently gave my children a Language Arts assignment. They were to write a one-page paper about a place they wanted to visit and what they would do there. As they turned in their papers I was intrigued by their responses.
I was instantly frustrated with my daughter, Ashley’s (9 years old) paper because the city name was misspelled. I also found many grammatical errors. I thought, “She doesn’t think enough of this assignment to do her best work. Is she really struggling with spelling and grammar or is this a heart issue? What does this say about her work ethic? What does this say about her character? What does this say about her educational future?”
I sent her to her room to re-write the paper – and do her best this time. Then I noticed her original work tossed aside on the counter, so I read it one more time. Here is an excerpt:
I want to go to
Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees! I had totally missed the beauty in Ashley’s heart because I was looking at the surface, catching every mistake I came across. Her compassionate heart was plain to God, and putting her desire on paper should have made it plain to me as well. But I was so busy worrying about the spelling errors that I callously overlooked her heartfelt response.
Ashley wasn’t trying to impress me with her grammatical skills; she was sharing a God-given desire with me. It was a chance for me to take pride in the way God is shaping her for a possible future ministering to orphanage-bound children. She needed me to see her heart, but I only saw her writing flaws as they appeared on paper.
Let me encourage you to learn from my mistake. Capture a moment today where you really see someone else. Look beyond their surface mistakes to see their heart. Maybe it’s your child. Or maybe it’s a spouse, neighbor or friend.
Heavenly Father, forgive me for often making judgments of others based on outward appearances. Help me to take time to really see their hearts and understand where they are coming from, and when they align with the things of you, to affirm and support their choices. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst
Spend today focusing on someone’s heart. Don’t focus on what they look like, act like, or talk like. Don’t let Satan tempt you into misdirecting your attention towards superficial things. Dig past all the stuff on the outside, all the stuff screaming for your attention. Dig deep. Listen. Ask questions. Pray with them and hear their souls echoing in their prayers. Push out the busyness and sit.
What prevents you from really hearing someone’s heart? Is it busyness? A pre-existing negative attitude toward them? The desire to make yourself look good?
Choose to take captive these potentially dangerous factors and make them obedient to God’s will – His desire to look at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (NIV)
1 Chronicles 28:9, “For the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.” (NIV)
John 7:24, “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” (NIV)
Romans 2:29, “Circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man’s praise is not from men, but from God.” (NIV)
Proverbs 31 Ministries
Matthews, NC 28105
Originally published Friday, 27 July 2007.