3 Ways To Find Life-Giving Friendships This Year
LYSA TERKEURST
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“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works …” Hebrews 10:24 (ESV)
Tears quietly slipped down my cheeks as I looked ahead at what my day would hold as a new mom: a crying baby, a messy house, and an overwhelming feeling of dread.
How could this be? I finally had everything I ever thought would make me fulfilled, significant, and satisfied — yet I was more miserable and lonely than I’d ever been. As I finally realized a family and a comfortable house with a flower bed planted out front wasn't the answer to ultimate happiness, it rattled my soul to the core.
There are deep places within our souls that God hand-designed and reserved for only Him to fill.
But my whole life had been focused on getting these other things I thought would fill me up. So when they fell short, I slid to the ground and cried, God, I can’t do this. Where do I go from here? How do I find You? Help me!
A few weeks later, an invitation from a new friend came my way. I glanced down at my spit-covered sweatpants, ran my hands through my greasy hair, and willed my mind to override the desire to pass on meeting her that day.
I couldn’t handle the relationships I already had in my life — I certainly couldn’t make time for more. Plus, if I got too close to women who appeared to have their lives together, surely they’d judge me for the pitiful way mine was falling apart. I just didn’t have the white space for anything but my family.
But that was exactly the problem. I was giving everything I had to my family with nothing to fill me back up, no one to encourage me through the hard spots, and no one to share practical advice because she’d been there and done that.
So I crammed my diaper bag full and headed out the door.
Over the years, I’ve thought about that pivotal decision to embrace the necessity of friendships. Not only have they helped me personally, but my friendships have been crucial to my success (and sometimes survival) in all the roles I play. They’ve made Hebrews 10:24 come to life: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works …”
I’m grateful for the women who have done this for me while also showing me how to encourage others. What I once thought would take away from my family has added richness I couldn’t have gotten any other way.
If you can relate to the season I was in, here are three practical ways to find life-giving friendships this year:
- Find a friend who does something well that you wish you were better at. It may be managing work-life balance, cooking, organizing kids’ rooms, or a hundred other things. Whatever it is, ask her if you could spend time observing how she does what she does so well.
- Choose a friend with whom you feel comfortable praying. There is no better gift we can give our families than to be women who pray. Praying with a friend about our families will not only knit our hearts closer to the ones we love but to that friend as well.
- Pursue friendship with someone who is one stage behind where you are in life. Offer her practical help in her areas of stress, and weave in the wisdom you’ve gained from going through that same stage.
Why not spend some time today praying for the friends you have and the friends you’ve yet to meet? God loves to answer those friendship prayers! And trust me on this — go ahead and wash your hair, just in case you get a call like I did all those years ago.
Dear Lord, You know the relationships I need in this season of my life. So I’m praying today for the friends I have right now and ones I have yet to meet. Help me to be a God-honoring friend who always points others back to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
When life feels uncertain, it’s easy to question where God is working. But as Lysa reminds us in today’s devotion, even when we can’t see it, God’s Word steadies our hearts and shows us He’s still faithful. That’s exactly what you’ll discover through 40 Days Through the New Testament: Knowing the Savior Who Steadies Our Uncertainty. Each day helps you draw closer to Jesus and find peace in the promises that never change. When you give to Proverbs 31 Ministries, you help more women experience that same hope through daily teachings, podcasts, and studies that meet them right where they are. As our thank-you for your generosity, we’ll send you 40 Days Through the New Testament to strengthen your own walk with God. Give today to help another woman discover the steadying Truth of Scripture — and receive your study as thanks.
We’ve all experienced the heartbreak of a relationship or friendship that didn’t go the distance. Maybe a friend didn’t show up for you during a difficult season. Or an unresolved disagreement led to resentment and distance. Whether you’re ready to give new friendships a try or you’re still processing the fallout, there is space for you to move forward in the pages of Lysa TerKeurst’s book I Want to Trust You, but I Don't. You can get your copy here.
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (NIV).
Which of the three ideas from today's devotion could you try to implement this week as you seek out godly friendships? We’d love to hear from you in the comments.
© 2026 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
Originally published Thursday, 08 January 2026.
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