I’m Afraid of What Will Happen if I Don’t Step In
Lysa TerKeurst
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7, NLT).
Life can just break your heart sometimes, and before you can even catch your breath from one hard situation, there’s another one.
It’s not that any one of these situations is a massive tragedy or a life-altering event. It’s the onslaught of never-ending issues, one after another after another.
It’s the constant responsibilities that need to be handled, but nothing is going the way you wanted. Everything is more complicated, more challenging, more consuming, more expensive, more mind-bending, and more frustrating.
It’s the hurtful things, like a friend you can tell is withdrawing from you. Or a husband who won’t go to counseling. Or a boss who once again overlooks your efforts. It’s the child whom you love with all your heart, who has such potential, but who is now rebelling and seems to stay angry at you.
Make it stop. Please, God, make it stop.
But what do we do when He doesn’t?
It’s no wonder we feel compelled to step in, fix this, redirect them, and intervene just to end the chaos. But the Lord has been helping me acknowledge what’s really driving that desire to control everything: fear.
I want to unpack this a bit — because one kind of fear we can have is God-given, and another kind is not.
Let’s start with God-given fear. We can feel afraid as a natural human emotion that should occur when we encounter something threatening or scary. This serves as a warning to help us take the necessary steps to seek safety and protection. This kind of fear prevents us from walking into traffic, warns us not to get too close to the edge of a cliff, and triggers us to get away from a venomous snake. These fears serve a healthy purpose.
Then there are the fears that drive our desire for control: a spirit of fear that is not God-given. Today's key verse, 2 Timothy 1:7, tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
Living from a spirit of fear means we are being controlled and negatively influenced by spiritual forces that pull us away from trusting God. When we are afraid of another person’s choices and start to strategize how we can rescue, fix, or motivate them to make changes they aren’t willing to make, we are stepping toward control and away from trusting God. This kind of fear does not serve a healthy purpose. It can absolutely hinder our well-being and become destructive to relationships.
I've found that if I don’t acknowledge and learn to manage these fears that drive my desire to control, I will slip into the exhausting patterns of trying to fix what I already know is beyond my abilities. Anxiety will be my constant companion. Frustration will exhaust me. And desperation will perpetuate the lie that my effort will save the day.
We can all be incredibly deceived by our own effort — because sometimes it works. Sometimes, when we get just enough success in fixing a part of the situation, we buy the lie that these changed circumstances are evidence that we are fixing things.
But can I please whisper something we have to remember? Anything we accomplish by trying to control situations or other people will only compound our disappointment when it all falls apart again.
This kind of disappointment sometimes leads to disillusionment, which can make us want to trust God less and less. If we ask God to bless our efforts and they fail, then the spirit of fear will be right there tempting us to believe it’s God who has failed us.
Control is so appealing because it gives us a sense of power in situations where we have probably felt quite powerless and helpless for a long time. Friend, I know accepting what we cannot change can feel like we are giving up. But what it actually means is that we will finally live in the only reality where we can move forward. And it’s a crucial step in our journey to stop letting situations steal our peace and rob us of being able to show up as our best selves.
Jesus, You are who I need. You are the ultimate source of peace, protection, and provision when everything around me feels unstable, uncertain, and uncontrollable. Please help me to release what I can’t control and to trust You with what I cannot fix. Calm my thoughts, guard my spirit, and carry what feels too heavy for me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
If you read this devotion and a specific person or situation you’ve been wrestling with for a long time came to mind, this is the resource you’ve been looking for: Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Making Peace with What I Can’t Control. In the pages of this book, Lysa will help you recognize how to be responsible without being controlling. This is the deep exhale you need when you cannot fix another person’s issues because they refuse to make changes for themselves. Preorder your copy today, and you can start reading the first three chapters immediately!
ENGAGE
Find everyday encouragement when you connect with Lysa TerKeurst here on Instagram.
FOR DEEPER STUDY
Psalm 34:4, “I sought the Lᴏʀᴅ, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears” (NIV).
Pray these words out of Psalm 34:4 today. How can this help you the next time you feel compelled to step in and take control of a situation?
We’d love to hear from you today in the comments
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
Originally published Tuesday, 18 August 2026.
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