Healthy & Intentional Communication Deepens Your Marriage
By: Vivian Bricker
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
If there is one thing that most marriages lack, it is deep conversation. Sadly, for most of our relationships, we are lacking in-depth conversations with our loved ones. We choose to talk about the weather when we should be talking about their lives. This is something that needs to change massively, yet the only change we can make personally is to start doing better at being intentional in communicating with our loved ones. This means we need to start cultivating healthy and intentional communication with our spouses.
Everyone’s spouse is different, but where there is no communication, there can be no connectivity. Rather than continuing down this path, we need to start having healthy conversations with our spouses. If it is common for you and your spouse to only talk about your kid's soccer practice on Tuesday night or how the sink needs to be fixed, try to start deepening your communication with one another. Ask your spouse how they are really doing, how you can better support them, and how you can be a better partner to them.
Go further to ask if there is anything they think is going wrong in the marriage. While this can be a scary question to ask, it can actually help our marriages to grow stronger. Addressing these hard questions can help us to know our spouses better and to build a stronger line of communication with them. The main goal is to help our spouses know that they can come to us with anything. Whether they are struggling with sin or are worried about losing their job, we want them to know that they can come to us and we will be a source of comfort.
Striving toward healthy and intentional communication will take time, but we can take the first step today. Schedule some time one-on-one with your spouse and talk with them about things. Help them to know how you feel and how you would like to work on better communication within your marriage. Listen to any feedback they have and take what they say to heart. Healthy and intentional communication will deepen your marriage and help it to grow stronger.
The Apostle Paul tells us, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). As Paul says here, we are to encourage one another and build them up. This includes our spouse. We are called to encourage and build our spouse up in the Lord. How will we do this without healthy and intentional communication? This is why it is vital for us to start working on communication today.
In fact, encouraging one another and building each other up can help communication be reached. A simple, “Great job on your job promotion” or “You are such a strong mom,” can go a long way in the heart of your spouse. Instead of overlooking these kind gestures, try to start being more intentional in your marriage. Notice the little things and encourage them.
Build them up in the Lord by praying for them, reading the Bible together, and serving the Lord as a team. Where God is present, marriages will bloom. If you and your spouse have been struggling in these areas, go to God in prayer together. Be honest with Him and give all of your feelings over to Him. Most people think prayer can only be done on an individual basis, but we can also go to God in prayer when we are with our spouse.
God loves to see His children come to Him and pray for their spouse’s needs together. You have been brought together by God. Don’t underestimate the wonderful things He can bring to your marriage. He can help you start being intentional in your marriage and more communicative. All that has to be done is to go to Him in prayer and start practicing intentional communication in our daily lives. God will work through us and help our marriages to grow stronger.
“Dear God, my spouse and I have a hard time communicating with each other in a healthy way. Please help my spouse and I to have healthy and intentional communication with each other. I want to grow closer to my spouse and deepen our relationship. I bring all of these concerns to You, and I trust You with the outcome. In Your Son’s Name, I pray, Amen.”
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Vadym Pastukh
Related Resource: 3 Simple Ways to Feed Your Spouse More Praise
How often do you intentionally stop to praise your spouse? To recognize and affirm their character or actions? Many of us probably cringe at answering these questions because we know we could do better! If you struggle to feed your spouse praise regularly, this episode is for you. Listen in as we share some practical steps we all can take to criticize less and affirm and build up our spouse more. If this episode helps your marriage, be sure to subscribe to Team Us on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.
Originally published Sunday, 18 May 2025.
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