Honor My Husband... How Do I Do That?
By Gina Smith
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome woman.” – Proverbs 21:19
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:1
I was sitting at my dining room table with a friend. My husband had just left for work when my friend bravely spoke, “May I tell you something?” She asked.
“Sure,” I answered.
She paused and then she said, “The way that you speak to your husband is wrong.”
I had been married for almost 3 years and had just begun spending time with this young woman. She was a year older than me, but she had a walk with God that I had never observed in a woman my age. She was a godly example of a wife and mother, so when she loved me enough to point out where I was missing the mark, there was really nothing I could say. She lived it. She was right. I knew she was right.
I’d love to say that my response to her was one of humility, but it wasn’t. To put it bluntly, I was bugged.
“Who does she think she is?!” I thought. Yes, I was under conviction, but I didn’t want to admit it. My pride wanted to fight it. For a short time, I resisted the things God was showing me. I would make excuses for the way I spoke to my husband. After all, this is what I’d always known. It’s what I was used to.
Not long after that lunch visit, that same friend invited me to meet her for dinner. We met at a local restaurant. After we had chatted for awhile she asked, “How is your time in the Word going?” I had to admit to her that it wasn’t going very well.
“Would you like me to help you?” she asked. “Okay…” I said hesitantly. To accept her help was to admit I was wrong. I didn’t really like that, but God was working in my heart. I cringe when I think back to those days, but the memories serve as a reminder and a warning. Since that time, I have had the privilege of spending time with a few women who are wonderful examples of what it means to honor their husbands.
From time to time I will hear a woman complain about her husband, cut him down, or dishonor him in some way. When that happens, there is no judgment in my heart, only a reminder of what I know I am capable of.
Here are 5 ways I’m learning to honor my husband:
- Be in the Word on a regular basis. I am challenged to be in the Word so that the Word and the Holy Spirit can renovate my heart.
- Godly examples. God has used other women who, are striving to honor their husbands, to open my eyes to what needs to be changed in my life.
- Confrontation and exhortation.God has used a few faithful friends over the years, who have been brave enough and who loved me enough, to confront and challenge me.
- God’s people. God has used members of the body of Christ, who have been willing to come alongside me, encourage me, and challenge me in my walk with God.
- My husband. God has used my husband, who has been so patient and grace-filled, as I continue to learn what it means to honor him.
Won’t you join me in praying for God to open our eyes and ears to the ways in which we may be dishonoring our husbands? If we do not see what we are doing, we will continue to dishonor God, our husbands, and we will be creating an atmosphere of disrespect in our home.
Gina Smith is a writer and author who has been married for 31 years to Brian, a college professor and athletic trainer. For the past 20+ years Gina and her husband have served on a Christian college campus as the on-campus parents, and her husband has been a professor and dean of students. They have lived on the campus where they raised both of their now married children. In her spare time, she loves to write, writes for several websites, and recently authored her first book “Grace Gifts: Practical Ways To Help Your Children Understand God's Grace". She also writes at her personal blog: ginalsmith.com.
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Originally published Monday, 30 October 2023.