3 Ways to Restore Laughter in Your Marriage
by Lynette Kittle
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” - Proverbs 17:22
If you grew up with an older brother who relentlessly teased you, like I did, you’ll understand my surprise was when my brother first brought home my lovely sister-in-law-to-be from college. She was so sweet, pretty, and nice that I just couldn’t figure out why she was dating my exasperating brother. It just didn’t make sense to me.
It was a mystery to me how my brother had managed to attract such an amazing woman. In my little sister eyes, she was clearly out of his league. Finally asked her why she liked him. To my complete surprise, she said, “He makes me laugh!”
As a teenager, I hadn’t considered the possibility of my brother’s humor being attractive to a girl. Her response certainly broadened my perspective on what makes a person appealing and how humor might play a positive role in a relationship. It opened my eyes to see how laughter has the potential to draw couples together.
Likewise having fun together in marriage plays an important part in having a healthy relationship. Still so many couples in facing the day-to-day life often lose the funny in their relationship.
Seeing the humor in situations helps to strengthen couples. So if you’ve lost the ability to share laughter, how do you restore or spark the funny into your marriage once again?
Below are three ways to bring laughter back into your relationship:
1. Laugh at yourself and give your spouse the freedom to laugh with you.
In situations where you can choose to be upset or laugh, choose laughter because, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up” (Proverbs 12:25).
Have you ever messed up or had a mishap that seemed hilarious to others? Yet you felt so upset or embarrassed by it, that it not only made you angry at yourself but also angry seeing your spouse laugh? Although maybe tough in those moments to get past your own feelings, try to see the overall humor above your own frustration.
2. Let your spouse off the hook when they mess up.
Allow your relationship to be more about sharing experiences than placing blame because, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:13).
It’s easy for a spouse’s failure to cause division, especially if finances are tight or a couple is going through extremely stressful circumstances. Yet we can decide how to respond.
More than once in our marriage, kitchen mishaps have had the potential to either cause a huge fight or to share a laugh, like the time my husband dropped our delicious-looking pizza on the floor, disappointing six hungry people in the process.
Or the time my placing of the chocolate crème pie on the refrigerator shelf caused an avalanche, a huge kitchen floor mess, and the demise of the pie.
3. Revisit fun things you did in the beginning of your relationship either by talking about it, looking at photos, watching videos, or recreating it again.
Like God encourages us to remember His goodness to us over the years (Psalm 77:5), it’s good for couples to reminisce about the fun times experienced in their relationship.
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, iBelieve.com, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, Startmarriageright.com, growthtrac.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
Originally published Monday, 27 March 2023.