3 Ways to Savor Time with Your Spouse
By Lynette Kittle
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth - Proverbs 5:18
When a newly married co-worker and her husband were in a terrible head-on traffic accident, where he died at the scene, I witnessed the great loss and heartache she experienced at not having the opportunity to say goodbye to him.
It was tragic, seeing all her hopes and dreams for their future together suddenly taken away.
Sadly, many of us know couples where a spouse passed away in an unexpected, sudden way. We’ve witnessed the added sorrow of a husband or wife who didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye or to tell their spouse how much they loved them before their passing away.
As a hospice chaplain, my husband ministers to couples facing the possibility of losing their spouses in the very near future. Knowing they could lose their husband or wife usually motivates couples to make the most of their time together.
Seeing couples facing end-of-life issues can also be an encouragement to all couples to not take their time together for granted. For those wanting to savor time with their spouse, below are three ways to start.
1. Spend time together. It’s too easy to let work, parenting responsibilities, even church events keep us from spending one-on-one time together thinking we’ll do it when the kids are grown or the job is less time-consuming.
However, God understands the importance of spending time together as a married couple. So much so that Deuteronomy 24:5 even instructed, “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.”
It’s so important in the hustle and bustle of life to make sure we spend time with our spouse, to make an extra effort in our relationship to give them priority in our hours and days.
2. Say I love you. While we have the opportunity, let’s make the most of telling our spouses how much we love them and how much they mean to us. Let’s not leave things unsaid but take every opportunity to speak of our love for them. Like John 15:17 urges us to love each other, these are words couples won’t ever regret saying to one another.
Sadly, most surviving spouses wish they could spend at least one more day with their late spouse, saying words they wished they had spoken to their husband or wife while they were on earth.
3. Do things to please each other. Have you noticed how a grieving spouse will take on accomplishing a project or dream of their late spouse, as an expression of their love for them?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, rather than waiting to be motivated by loss and sorrow, we take on accomplishing our spouse’s dream or project while they can enjoy it? Romans 15:2 encourages that, “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up."
Unfortunately, human nature is to realize after the fact, when it’s too late, what we could have done to please someone. Often surviving spouses regret not doing more for their late husband or wife. Through their loss many who remarry come into their new marriage with a deeper understanding and appreciation for pleasing their new spouse.
Helping to fulfill a spouse’s dream is a task no husband or wife will regret accomplishing, and the satisfaction of seeing a spouse enjoy it, is priceless.
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, iBelieve.com, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, Startmarriageright.com, growthtrac.com, and more. She has an M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
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Originally published Wednesday, 20 September 2023.