On the outside, everyone thinks you’re doing great. And to most people, you are. You get things done. You’re always on time (even early), on-task, and ahead of the game. But on the inside, you’re drowning, driven by anxiety and the fear of failure. How do I know this? Because I’ve lived in this space for many decades. And I wonder: Can you relate?
What Is High-Functioning Anxiety?
Like other high-functioning diagnoses, high-functioning anxiety is used to describe those who appear successful, organized, and calm on the outside. They’re your perfect teachers, businessmen, and lawyers. But on the inside, they’re riddled by chronic and overwhelming worry, fear, and perfectionism. These individuals have a higher risk of burnout due to their high work drive and productivity.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “High-functioning anxiety is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Instead, it usually is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder.” As someone who has generalized anxiety disorder and isn’t currently a therapist, I can attest that this definition is true.
“High functioning anxiety” is often missed or seen as less serious than other forms of anxiety because individuals are still able to function. Especially in Christian and high-achieving spaces, the more we can do and carry the better, right?
Unfortunately, when high functioning anxiety continues to be overlooked, but is majorly experienced, those who are suffering are minimized. They may even think their issues aren’t worth seeking help for because they don’t affect their daily lives to the point of helplessness that other conditions often do. The sad reality is that just because we suffer differently doesn’t mean it’s not important. In fact, those who develop high-functioning anxiety run a higher risk of developing chronic fatigue, burnout, irritability, and physical symptoms (SummitSone Health Partners).
Here are 7 signs you might be struggling with high-functioning anxiety from someone who personally experiences it:
1. You overthink everything. There are no small decisions. This might sound like a gift. To care so deeply about things that you overthink and make sure your words are precise. I reassure you, it’s not fun to rehearse texts, emails, and words you’ve said over and over again after you’ve said them.
2. You feel guilty when you rest. Though rest is good for all of us, it seems to be the enemy of the high-functioning sufferer. Why? Because resting means we pause. We stop. We stop striving. We have to relent to cease, and that’s a challenge.
3. You rely on productivity for peace. Although it’s useful to be productive, being addicted to productivity produces a temporary sense of peace that fades as soon as one task is complete and another appears. Don’t believe me? When I was in college, I was never “ahead enough.” I would complete assignments months in advance, but it was never enough. Because when anxiety is in the driver’s seat, she never takes “no” for an answer, and “good” or “finished” is never enough.
4. You struggle to say no. While I’ve gotten better with this over the years, we anxious people tend to also be people-pleasers. We don’t mean to be, but what if’s fill our minds. What if the things we say no to could change our lives? What if we miss something important? The list goes on indefinitely.
5. You appear calm but feel internally rushed. Again, though anxious people can appear calm, internally, you’re a chicken with your head cut off. As a former teacher, I felt like this all day. Multi-tasking was my best friend, but it also ate me alive.
6. You replay conversations constantly. Similar to overthinking everything, replaying conversations is a real struggle. Maybe you replay what they said and how you responded, or what you wished you’d said differently. But no matter how much you replay it, the worse you feel.
7. Your faith sometimes feels like pressure. Sadly, many of us who struggle with anxiety feel like faith can be part of that anxiety. Not because we don’t love God, but because we feel the pressure to perform. To have it all together. The good news is, Jesus doesn’t ask us to feel this way. We can come as we are—baggage and all.
Again, I want to reiterate that I’m not a clinical therapist, and this post should not be taken as medical advice. However, I hope it helps you articulate patterns in your life that might need a little extra help or care.
High-functioning anxiety can show up in even Christians because of living in a performance-based faith. We’re told to “be strong” and “don’t worry,” but as a result, we trade grace for legalism and peace for perfection. Our fear of being seen is equated with a lack of faith, so we bow our heads and hide in corners, continuing to wear the mask.
The Hidden Cost of Staying This Way
Not only does this kind of living portray a false sense of self to those around us, but it can also cause burnout, disconnection from God, emotional numbness, and strained relationships. UCLA Health offers these words of wisdom on the hidden cost of staying in this state for too long:
“It can be lonely to feel like you have to be perfect and high achieving constantly,” says Kate Sheehan, LCSW, and managing director of UCLA Cares anxiety awareness and prevention program.
"The term 'high achieving anxiety' may offer some people a way to share with friends or loved ones what it’s like for them to live under constant pressure. Finding support and understanding from others could also help you realize that you can be high-achieving without the anxiety, and that’s a more comfortable way to live."
How to Start Healing
If you identify with any of these symptoms, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I know this battle so well and fight it every single day. But friends, we have to begin by truly learning to separate our worth from our productivity. Who you are is not in what you do, even as much as it feels that way.
Second, allow God to meet you in the anxiety, not after it. Don’t wait to come to Him until you have it all together. Come to Him now. Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us that we’re called to come to Jesus, weary and burdened. And that’s okay.
Third, practice limits, rest, and boundaries. I know this is going to be difficult, but schedule it on your calendar like a task. I’m serious. It really helps and can enable us to prioritize self-care, even when we feel like we can’t. Adding a weekly Sabbath can also do wonders.
Finally, replace any pressure-based thinking with God’s truth. I recommend working with a counselor or coach for this, but I also respect that those avenues may not work for everyone. Support might look different for you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What matters is that you’re being honest and getting the help you need.
Are you weary?
Are you worn out from living this way?
Jesus invites us all into the slow and deep process of honest healing. I can’t promise that your high-functioning anxiety will magically cease to exist. But I can promise that God is with us through it.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Jirapong Manustrong
