You are loved, friend, and nothing can ever change that. You are loved because you are His.
I did things I swore I would never do. I made choices I thought I would never make. I hurt people I loved. With all the wreckage I was leaving in my wake, I became more and more convinced I had been cast into the lot of the unlovable.
I was too far gone.
At one time in my life, there may have been a place for me to spend eternity with my Father above, but I wasn’t so sure anymore. Yes, people told me His love was forever and that nothing could separate me from Him, but the thing was – they didn’t know my story. If they knew my story, they would probably feel the same way about me that I did.
Damaged. Broken. Lost. Irreparable.
So, I would do whatever it took to guard my secret. I would keep it locked away in the vault that was buried deep inside my heart. I would hide the key. I would cover myself in a suffocating blanket of shame.
And there I would stay. This was my penance.
Until the Lord moved in ways I never could have imagined. He cracked open my vault. His light burst forth into all the dark places in my heart. Slowly, but surely, the truth of who I was to Him replaced the lies I had been believing. My arms began to swing freely. There was a lightness to my once heavy step. My bowed head was now lifted and held high.
The blanket was removed. I had been set free.
I was loved.
And once I broke out of that shame - I saw it for what it was and declared that it would not define me again.
Have you ever been there? Have you ever found yourself stuck under the heavy weight of shame? Have you worn it like a shackle around your neck? Have you walked with your head bowed low instead of lifted high? If you have, please know you aren’t alone. Many of us have walked this dirt road, and many more will find their way onto this path, but the truth is – no matter how long we stay there, the Lord desires to set us free. He wants us to rest in His Presence and release it all into the tender care of His gracious embrace.
Sure, you may be thinking. This all sounds great, but you don’t know my story. And you are right, friend. I do not. But God does. And He has never left you. Not once.
Nor will He ever.
You Are Loved
One of the hardest things for me to grasp when I was in that place of shame was that I was loved, as is, for always and forever. I could believe that about everyone else, but I just couldn’t believe the same was true for me. I was held captive by the lies.
But over time, as I met with trusted friends and counselors and as I studied the Word of God and the truth about Him and the relationship He longed to have with me, the walls started to come down. It was a process that required me to be honest with my loved ones, myself, and my God.
If you find yourself in this space of feeling unlovable, or that something you have done will keep you from being fully forgiven and loved by our Lord above, be honest about where you are. Take the lies you are believing about yourself captive and hold them up to the truth of Scripture.
John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." And 1 John 4:19 tells us, "We love because he first loved us."
You are loved, friend, and nothing can ever change that. You are loved because you are His. It may take time for you to fully embrace that truth. Ask the Holy Spirit inside to guide you and to help you move toward accepting the great love the Lord has for you, His child.
You Are a Child of God
When my first child was placed in my arms, my heart was undone. I looked down at this gift from the Lord resting in my arms, and something inside me shifted. I loved her with a ferocity I had never felt before. This was different than anything I had experienced. As I looked down at her deep blue eyes and wrinkly newborn skin, I knew nothing could ever change the love I felt for her.
And if I felt this way about my child, and the other children that would come after – how much more was this with God?
I realized God loves me not because of who I am or what I accomplish on a given day. He doesn’t love me because of the things I achieve or the ways I get things right. His love isn’t dependent on my not messing up. No. This love is the love between a Father and His child. Only it is greater because it is love without sin. It is perfect love from Love Himself.
I am loved because I am His.
1 John 3:1 (NIV) says, See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
You, too, are loved not because of what you do, or don’t do – but because you are a child of God. Made in His image. As you let this truth settle in your bones, you will come to see that those labels you try to wear and the shame you pick up do not define you. You are defined by His great love.
You are His child. And nothing can ever change that.
You Are Forgiven
Just like nothing can change His great love, there is also no sin that is unforgivable. No matter if people are picketing you or screaming at you on street corners. While they are throwing their stones, God is holding you. There is nothing beyond His grace.
When we are wrapped tightly in our blanket of shame, this can be a struggle to believe. We wear our labels and cling tightly to the belief that we are too far gone, that we have fallen into a pit with no exit. I know what this feels like, because I lived in this space for a long, long time.
Just like I thought God’s love was for everyone else, I believed the same was true of His grace. Friend, if you are there, there is grace for that, too.
When Jesus took His final breath on the cross, He took everything – including the thing you have locked away in your vault. Before you breathed your first breath, He knew every hair on your head and every freckle on your skin. He also knew everything you would ever say and everything you would ever do – and He chose you.
The Creator of the heavens and the earth and the infinite galaxies that fill the entire expanse of the universe created you. And when His Son died on the cross for all, that includes you.
It may be hard to believe, but He loves you so much that He took it all. The price has been paid. I remember years ago, when I was struggling to let go of the shame and walk in the freedom, someone asked me, What more do you need? Is His death not enough? This was like a dagger to my heart. Of course, His death was enough. But was it? Because, at that time, I just couldn’t accept it was for me, too. Over the course of time, the Lord put people in my path who would walk with me through the valley and up to the other side. He was patient with me and tender. And He will be with you, as well. Pray for Him to make a way for you to believe in the riches of His grace. Pray for Him to show you how much He loves you, and pray that your heart can grab on to the truth that your sins are forgiven as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12)
Ephesians 2:8-9 says, For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.
It is a gift. It cannot be earned. It cannot be taken away.
Ask the Lord to help you walk in that freedom today.
You Are Set Free
One of my favorite verses is Galatians 5:1, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
As someone who lived for so long under the oppressive weight of shame, I feel this deep in my bones. When we come out from under it and when the shackles fall, we do not want to be burdened again.
I now stand firm in the truth that Christ’s death on the cross paid the price. Now, when the labels and lies threaten to take hold, I return to Him and know I am loved. I ask for forgiveness. I lay it at the foot of the cross and trust that He will take it and that I will be made new.
Friend, you are set free. You are forgiven. You are loved. You are a child of God. You are not defined by your past mistakes or your future mess-ups. The Lord loves you. As you are. Always and forever – because you are His.
When shame threatens to take hold, return to scripture and His truth. Hold up the truth of who He is and who you are to Him and let that light cover the darkness that wants to grab hold.
You are not defined by shame.
You are a child of God. Loved by the Creator of the Universe. Saved by the blood of Jesus.
Walk in that freedom. Let your vault crack open.
Run into His arms and taste the sweetness of His mercy and His love.
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Jen Thompson is the author of Return to Jesus: An Invitation to Abide with Him in Every Beautiful, Stressful, or Tedious Moment.
