One of the most complex parts of being a Christian is reconciling what we know is true versus what we feel is true.
Think about the various storms in your life—the ones you've been through, maybe the one you're in now…I bet you can relate. If you're like me and grew up in church (literally since the day I was old enough to stay in the nursery!), then this gets even more complicated because the disconnect is laden with guilt. You know God is near. You know God hasn't abandoned you to your pain or circumstances. But you don't always feel Him. Maybe you even start to wonder if something is wrong with you before you can't feel it. Or that perhaps you're a "bad Christian" because you have these doubts and fears.
Yikes. See how quickly that train of thought can careen out of control?
Logically, you're aware that God is omnipresent. Mentally, you can even accept the fact that He never leaves you. But how do you correlate those facts to the raw emotion you're facing? To the pain of your circumstances? To the depth of loneliness you feel throughout your hard season?
The technical distance between an average person's brain and their heart is roughly 12-14 inches. But some days, it feels like miles, doesn't it? When we're going through hard times and seeking God yet feeling like our prayers are bouncing off the clouds, it's hard to believe He's there. It's hard not to listen to the enemy's lies telling us we're alone.
Other times, we might sense God's presence but can't hear His voice. We can believe He is with us, but why isn't He speaking? Why isn't He moving? Why isn't He acting on our behalf?
For example, I certainly felt God's presence but couldn't hear His voice the night my (now ex) husband left me after almost nine years of marriage. I could only hear the blood rushing in my head and pulsing in my ears as I breathed the name of Jesus face down on the cold tiles of my kitchen floor while my husband packed up his things. Why wasn't God stopping him?
I felt God's presence but couldn't hear His voice during the weeks my (new) husband and I prayed together through the long months of his unemployment. Seeking God, desperate for answers and provision as the bills kept showing up. Why wasn't God showing us the next step?
I felt God's presence but couldn't hear His voice when my newly-licensed teen driver called me in a panic, having just had her first wreck, and I ran in my pajamas across one of the busiest intersections in town, surrounded by flashing lights and broken glass, and pulled her into a hug. Why hadn't He prevented the wreck and the financial repercussions that followed?
I felt God's presence but couldn't hear His voice that time while praying in the shower, tears mixing with the now-cold stream of water as I surrendered my dreams and hopes for someone I dearly loved. Why wasn't He changing their heart?
You have your own list. You know your own set of questions. All these very real human experiences can make any believer struggle with their faith and what they know is true. But I have good news for you! Feeling that way doesn't make you a bad Christian—it makes you an honest one.
I heard it pointed out once that during a test, the teacher is silent. But they're very much in the room—watching, pacing, waiting. I love that analogy. The teacher hasn't left the room during the test—if anything, they're more present and alert than ever. And the same is true of God. How much more does He love and care for us than a professor giving an exam? He doesn't leave us during our trials. He's there—watching, waiting. And unlike the teacher, God already knows the outcome of that test. He knows what our faith looked like before and what it will look like after. And maybe sometimes, that's the entire point of the test.
Building trust.
Another older, slightly more cliché analogy to the same point is the famous poem about footprints in the sand. The author bemoans how lonely that hard season was, how they looked back and only saw one set of footprints and felt abandoned. But, as it turns out, that set of footprints wasn't their own—it was evidence of the Lord carrying them.
However you view it metaphorically, the fact is simple: the Bible promises that God never leaves us. Which means we must do what is, on some days, nearly impossible—ignore our fluctuating, human, flawed emotions and trust the truth of God's unchanging, eternal, perfect Word—regardless of what it feels like.
Easier said than done? Absolutely. So what do we do about it? Well, to start, let's take a look at these scriptures. Read them slowly and really meditate on them. If you can, read them out loud.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV) Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
"He will not." It's that simple. We know, also from scripture, that God doesn't lie. He literally can't lie! So it's the truest of truths.
Here's another:
Hebrews 13:5b-6 (ESV) …for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"
I love this part. "I will not fear." Because we are so assured of His presence with us, we don't have to fear. We can be confident in Him. Through heartache, through famine, through financial strain, through divorce and pain, and wayward children. Through anxiety, depression, and fear. Through broken friendships, betrayal, and aging parents.
He is with him.
Here's another verse:
Matthew 28:20b (ESV) ...And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Wow. "…with you always." It doesn't get any clearer than that. Not only does He promise that He is with us, but He also clarifies that there is no end date. No condition. No loophole. "to the end of the age." That's forever, dear reader.
Don't worry. I'm preaching to the choir here. :: waves from the pulpit:: I know exactly how hard this can be. I've been there. Some days, I'm still there. And that's why I wanted to write this article—because I get it. I'm still working on living this out, too. And I think that's the beauty of it—we don't ever arrive this side of Heaven. We always need Jesus. We always need reminders of His faithfulness to us. We need community and each other to point us back to the truth when we get distracted by the shadows.
And that's okay.
Sometimes it's enough to trust God and His Word, despite our emotions. That's how trust is forged, deepened, and strengthened—through exercising it. I have several moments in my life that were clarifying "before and afters", my divorce being one of them, but certainly not the only one. Maybe not even the biggest one. And every time, my faith and trust in God and who He is came out stronger on the other side. It was a painful journey, no doubt, but as I told a counselor once, despite everything that has happened to me, I never once doubted God loved me.
And I know that because He was always there.
Even when He was quieter than I wished. Even when He didn't change the circumstances, the other person, or my own heart. Even when things didn't go the way I'd hoped. I had a deep knowing that He hadn't abandoned me, when others did. He hadn't changed when others did. He hadn't betrayed me when others had.
That knowing didn't make my prayers any less desperate or my anxiety any less anxious or my emotions any less overwhelming, but it did give me a landing spot each time. A rock to stand on when everything else shook or crashed.
And that trust in Him—whether He's silent or whispering, whether you feel Him or not—is also yours to stand on. Take God at His word and believe He is Who He says He is, that He is always with you, that He is for you and loves you, and is working things for your good. We can't be flippant about it. We have to ground ourselves in truth. So put that Word in your heart, meditate on it, and use it as a sword when the enemy attacks with his nasty lies.
Sidebar: the enemy's lies are always loud. God's truth is a whisper—a quiet "knowing in your knower", as a wise man I know once said.
Consider this:
1 Kings 19:11-12 (ESV) And he said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind and an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, the sound of a low whisper.
We can't hear a whisper when we're constantly numbing out with social media reels, television, loud music, etc., can we? So next time you hear that overwhelming, screaming voice telling you you're alone, that you've been abandoned and forsaken, and it's all on you, get somewhere still. Open your Bible and listen to that steady whisper reminding you of the truth.
You, dear reader, are never alone.
You are seen. You are held. You are known.
You are loved.
He is trustworthy and true.
Then shout it from the rooftops.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Akarawut Lohacharoenvanich
