Wednesday evening was one of those days. You know the kind I’m referring to, right? Where everything (and I mean everything) seems to go wrong from sunrise to sunset? First, it was a spoiled breakfast. Then, my dog seemed to take a century to go to the bathroom despite negative wind chills and rapidly falling snow. By the afternoon, I’d extinguished 12 work fires, 52 text messages, and 4 emotional breakdowns. That evening, I crumbled under the weight of my circumstances. How long, O Lord? my soul cried out. Have you been here, too?
After sending a quick text to my husband that “he needed to get home ASAP so I could have a breakdown,” I crawled into the shower and wept. As I did, the words of Psalm 13 seemed to bubble out of my chest:
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me” (NIV).
Looking back on that Wednesday, it was a terribly awful, horrible, not good day. But it was nothing compared to the suffering David experienced in the Psalms. I don’t say this to invalidate you or my experiences, but to give some perspective.
When Life Doesn’t Feel Good
David knew what it was like to live a life that didn’t always feel good. He had enemies, faced a giant, and committed adultery. Yet the Scriptures tell us he was a man after God’s own heart. Why? Because David knew how to be honest with God in pain, while still choosing to trust. And he learned to see that God’s goodness remains, even when life feels anything but good.
Sometimes, life is hard because we make it hard. We try to live outside the way God intended for us to live. But at other times, life is hard because we live in a broken, fallen world. David experienced both of these scenarios.
When we’re told “ God is good” amidst our suffering, there’s tension, right? That comment can feel like a slap in the face to our wounds. Perhaps our current reality is so painful, confusing, or unfair that it seems unrealistic to say, “God is good.” Here’s the truth: Psalm 13 is a model of faith that doesn’t deny suffering but acknowledges who God is amid it. And that key distinction makes all the difference. Because we aren’t operating out of a place of ignorance, but reality. If you want to learn to pray this way, here are 3 steps to follow.
1. Pray Honestly- “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV). David begins this Psalm by asking God the same question four times: “How long?” When we’re suffering, we tend to ask the same question. How long will this last? How long until the pain stops? How long until I hear your voice? Even David felt forgotten, ignored, and overwhelmed. But God allows honest questions, not polished prayers. He even desires them because He wants an honest and truthful relationship with you, no matter what you’re feeling.
2. Pray Desperately- In verses 3-4, David says these words: “Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall” (NIV). David is desperate. He’s pleading with the Lord, asking God to look upon him and answer him. From time to time, all of us pray desperate prayers. But what I love about David’s prayers here is that he doesn’t minimize the stakes. These troubles feel like life or death to him. And in many cases, they were. When we’re feeling like we’re in these places, our faith can speak boldly because that relationship with Jesus already exists. He doesn’t expect us to come pretty and polished, but as we are even when it’s desperate for Him.
3. Pray Trusting - As David concludes Psalm 13, verses 5 and 6 remind us that while nothing external may have changed (yet), we can choose to remember God’s unfailing love and past goodness. This isn’t a natural or human response. But even when David’s life hasn’t been good, he can still declare that God has been good. And so can we. “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:5-6, NIV).
Our Circumstances don’t define God’s Goodness
It’s a hard pill to swallow, but no matter what we’re going through on this side of Heaven, we must remember that our circumstances don’t define God’s goodness. Bad seasons don’t cancel God’s character; they’re just part of life in a fallen world. Silence isn’t abandonment, but rather a period of time to ponder what God is doing even here. Because God’s goodness is steady even when our lives and emotions are not, and that’s always something to be thankful for.
If you’re struggling to trust that God is good despite difficult circumstances, I want you to know that you’re allowed to lament and trust. You’re allowed to tell God you’re frustrated, upset, and confused by a life that doesn’t always make sense. But don’t stay here. Speak to your soul that faith isn’t pretending, but choosing to hope in God honestly, anyway. And remember that past goodness can and always should fuel present hope. Because our God was good and faithful then, and He’s still good and faithful now.
For more practice wrestling with these emotions and learning to process them with the Lord, try reflecting on these three practical questions:
1. What “How long?” questions am I carrying? Am I sharing them honestly with God?
2. Where have I seen God’s goodness in the past? What does that tell me about my present?
3. How can I trust God’s character even if this season doesn’t feel good?
Prayer
Dear Jesus, through it all, you’ve been good to us. Even though life can be painful, you are still faithful. In times of distress and pain, help us to look to Psalm 13. Remind us that, like David, we can bring our heartache to you. Help us to hold onto the hope of who you are and to remember that your goodness doesn’t deny pain, but it redeems it. You can help us process every hurt we encounter as we remember who you are amidst it. We love, praise, and thank you, Jesus. Amen.
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