Over the past two years, my husband and I have been waiting on God for his timing regarding my husband’s job. As a transitional pastor, he receives short-term assignments, which end when the church's contract ends. As each church opportunity came and went, we waited in great expectation for the next thing God would have for us.
However, when the last church opportunity ended, my husband started looking for jobs. As weeks turned into months, we kept combing local job posting websites, talking with our denomination, and praying that God would reveal what he had next for us. After several months of waiting, one question went through our heads:
What is God doing?
Normally, we both had a sense of unity as we would take each job opportunity. But for some reason, this job was different. As leads turned up empty, we began to question whether we had missed an opportunity we didn't know was ours, or, worse, that our timing in ministry was done. We prayed and asked God to give us a sense together that this is what he wanted from us.
But all we got was silence.
This became very frustrating for both of us, as we struggled to find God's place in our lives at the time. Eventually God did speak, and the next opportunity came. But the wilderness season of not knowing where God was, and of all we were hearing being silenced, became, at times, difficult to bear.
We all go through difficult times of silence when we feel God is not listening. We pray, we go to church, we surround ourselves with Christian friends, all in the hopes that somehow he will speak to us. But when all we get is silence, and we feel as if we are traveling through a desert, dragging our feet, step by step, through the dry, hot sand, we can quickly convince ourselves that God doesn't care, or that God is done with us.
Here are some things I learned about how to trust God amidst his silence:
Don't Give Up
In everything, God has a plan. Even in the moments when it feels as if he is not speaking to us at all, God is still present with us. God does not owe us an explanation for anything in life. He can do as he pleases in the time he chooses. Although it is difficult to believe that his timing is perfect, we know that it is.
However, Satan uses his time in the wilderness to speak to us as well. Just as Satan tempted Jesus in the desert with these grand promises of prestige, honor, and popularity, the enemy hoped that Jesus would turn away from his father and turn his allegiance toward the enemy. But when Jesus still chose to trust his father even during great temptation and suffering, Satan was defeated, and Jesus knew he could trust his father to walk him through each day, step by step.
In the moments when we feel God is not speaking, he is doing something even greater: he's forming our character. Trials are never easy to go through. Suffering is not fun. However, anyone who's gone through a deep trial and come out the other side says the same thing: they are different people because of it. It is rare that, through happy situations, God forms our character. Instead, God uses great trials, silence, and suffering to form our character into Christ's likeness. If we come out of the situation with more perseverance, more fruit of the Spirit, and a manifestation of God's power, God really was present after all.
Don’t Numb Your Pain
Many people cope when they feel life is not going their way and are tempted to use coping mechanisms to get through each day. Some people drink, some people watch pornography, and others drown their sorrows in comfort food or another vice. Christians may use other more acceptable vices, such as listening to secular music, binge-watching television, or online shopping. Anything that stands in the way of knowing God better is removed when we go through difficult times in life. God desires intimacy and connection with his children. There is no better time to connect with God than when life feels as if it is falling apart all around you.
When life gets bleak, cling to God. Read the word every day and meditate on its promises. Pray and ask God for a sign, or for him to answer you in his time. Just the act of obedience of praying and listening for God's voice will bring you closer to him than ever before. If we choose to go to God rather than to run to other things to numb our pain, we know we are truly achieving the intimacy that we desperately crave.
Don’t Isolate
Satan loves it when we isolate ourselves and fail to receive help from our Christian community. When we surround ourselves with Christian brothers and sisters who will pray for us during these silent times or help us in a time of need, God is glorified. But we can't do those things if we isolate ourselves from the world. We can deceive ourselves into believing that no one cares about us or that we do not need the connection. That is a lie straight from the enemy.
There are no Scriptures that talk about being alone in the Christian life. Even God chose to exist in three persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Let father meet you in the places where you feel alone. Let him reveal to you that you are never alone. Let him show himself through brothers and sisters in Christ. Let them minister to you through meals, cards, or just a word of encouragement. Anything we can do to keep in touch with the Holy Spirit will keep us on the journey toward intimacy and connection.
Talk to Someone
Last, it is important to talk with someone. Feeling isolated and alone during a wilderness season is fodder for depression and anxiety. Since mental health issues are on the rise, it is more important now than ever to speak to a counselor or someone who can help you through this time. Even if you enlist the help of a counselor for just a few sessions, it will be helpful to talk to someone who can offer strategies to move forward, even during silence and waiting. Be sure to enlist the help of a Christian counselor who understands that the body, mind, and spirit are all connected.
These people are trained professionals who feel called to help their Christian brothers and sisters move forward. A Christian counselor can help you sort through your feelings about God's silence. When you can attain good, healthy ways to cope during the wilderness season, your life will be so much better.
Although times of silence are common for any Christian, they are difficult to endure alone. By following the above steps, not only can you move forward in your life amid silence, but when God chooses to speak, he can impart to you a new chapter that will make your life exciting and new.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/LaylaBird
