The first time a Christian leader let me down, I was just a little girl. I clung to my faith voraciously. I was hungry to serve the Lord with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. But their betrayal in the Church caught me off guard. Quickly, I learned that even the best Christians aren’t God. And learning to rebuild trust in God after they let us down can be tricky.
Today, leaders fail us all the time. In Christian circles, this is no exception. It seems that week after week, an artist denounces his faith, an author says they’re deconstructing, and major leaders confess affairs, abuse, and horrible crimes. These accusations and confessions catch us off guard. These were people we trusted. Admired and steadied our faith on, even perhaps. But sadly, their failures aren’t uncommon.
The hard truth is that leaders letting us down will impact us and continue to impact us for the rest of our lives. There will never be a day that a Pastor, celebrity, teacher, friend, or family member won’t let us down in some way, shape, or form this side of Heaven. While some are more serious than others, this is a reminder that when our trust collapses, it’s time to evaluate and potentially reevaluate our allegiance. When leadership failures hit us spiritually, it’s less about what they did and more about how we respond as the body of Christ.
Why Disillusionment Hurts So Deeply
One of the biggest reasons these disillusionments hurt so deeply is because of the attachment, authority, and placement of our spiritual identity. Don’t get me wrong: It’s good and healthy to trust and admire spiritual leaders. We weren’t created to do life alone. But our allegiance belongs to Jesus Christ alone.
Your attachment belongs to Jesus Christ and His Word.
Your authority belongs to Jesus Christ and His Word.
Your spiritual identity needs to be rooted in Jesus Christ and His Word.
All of these things need to be rooted in Jesus and His Word, not the leaders who tell you about Him. Because while they may play a role in your spiritual journey, it’s Jesus who saves and redeems us. Leaders can lead well and help disciple us, but only Jesus will never fail or forsake you.
When we have a healthy relationship with attachment, authority, and spiritual identity, then we can remember that God is our ultimate place of security. As Catholic Bible Press notes, “Whenever people let us down, we can remember that we have a Lord who will never do the same. Our God is unfailing, unwavering, unchanging—and in that, we can always take peace.”
Second, when these leaders do let us down, we can choose to put our hope in Jesus. Human leaders will continue to disappoint us, and some may even try to lead us astray (even if unintentionally). As Sojourners adds, “politicians will turn out not to be who they claimed to be; bosses will try to build themselves up at your expense; small group leaders will be unfortunately oblivious; pastors will let you down. Christ will not. Trust in him as Lord, as your leader, to walk with you in whatever you’re going through, to lead you through this journey of life. Trust in him as your healer, to bind up the wounds, to soothe the scars, to heal the trauma. Trust in him as your restorer, the one who sought the lost and never gave up on the wandering.”
What the Bible Says About Fallible Leaders
Once we’ve learned to align our attachment, authority, and spiritual identity, looking to the Scriptures for leadership examples can be helpful. Sadly, the Bible is full of broken leaders, from David to Noah and Abraham. But the beauty of these stories is that each one is honest and authentic. Scripture doesn’t try to cover up those failures; instead, it shows that God can redeem anything and anyone who comes to Him humbly in their faults.
David was known as a man after God’s own heart. He was emotional, kind, and hardworking. He was a brave young adult who stood up to Goliath when no one else would. But he also committed adultery. He slept with another man’s wife and then put that man on the frontlines of a battle so he would be killed. He was a good leader, but he also had his flaws.
Noah was obedient in building an ark. Even when the rain was nowhere in sight, he chose to listen, obey, and believe what the Lord had told him. Noah warned the people, but when the flood came, only his family and a few animals survived. After all of this, however, Noah got drunk.
Abraham was going to be the Father of Many Nations. God had blessed Him. He believed that. But even though God told him he and his wife, Sarah, would have a son, he took matters into his own hands. He slept with Hagar, Sarah’s servant, and created a mess of a problem. Abraham still became a great leader, but not without mistakes.
I share these three examples to show that fallible leaders are more common than we’d like to admit. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps us remember that leaders today are human, just like anyone else.
How to Separate God from People
One of the worst effects of leadership failure is that people fall away from the faith. To this, I want to be clear that we must learn to separate our God from His people.
Christians have an immense privilege and honor to share the name of Jesus. We’re to be like Him. The word “Christian” literally means “little Christ.” But sadly, because we live in a broken and fallen world, we often fall short. We must not judge Christ and Christianity on His people who fail to act like Him, and we must not even judge it based on the best Christians we know. Because only Christ alone is perfect, and only Christ will never fail us.
As Nadia Bolz-Weber, an American author, Lutheran minister, and public theologian, reflects on the role of the Church, “People don’t leave Christianity because they stop believing in the teachings of Jesus. People leave Christianity because they believe in the teachings of Jesus so much, they can’t stomach being part of an institution that claims to be about that and clearly isn’t.”
Bolz-Weber’s words are a reminder to us all: If we want others to be radically transformed by the truth of the Gospel, we must act like Christ alone. We must build our lives on Jesus, not even the best leaders He’s given to lead or instruct us.
Practical Steps to Healing
If you’re feeling hurt by a leader today, I want to encourage you to anchor your faith in Christ alone. Though leaders are of the utmost value, they are not Jesus Himself.
Two, I encourage taking time to grieve. My counselor often says he hates the statement “time heals all wounds” because it simply isn’t true. Time alone doesn’t heal. But learning to grieve and process things over time instead of pushing them down or ignoring them is a way to a healthy move through our pain.
Once you’ve taken time to reflect and grieve, think through and establish some appropriate boundaries with discernment. This might look like limiting the number of articles you read from leaders or choosing to read the Bible first and any commentaries or devotionals second. Rebuilding trust with those around us requires boundaries and discernment in the future, but it’s also about ourselves and our individual walks with the Lord.
Finally, remember to engage in healthy church conversations. Stay away from gossip and don’t add to conversations that only fuel the fire. Proverbs 18:21 says it this way: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (NIV).
It’s possible to rebuild and recover from leaders who let us down, but it requires rebuilding a mature faith rooted in Jesus Christ alone. As you piece together your faith brick by brick, remember this: Leaders are good and from God, but they’re not God Himself. Base your faith and religion on Jesus Christ and His Word alone. And represent Him to a world that desperately needs to see the genuine and authentic Word of God lived out.
Prayer
Dear Jesus, when great leaders of the faith let us down, help us to be wise. We aren’t asking to be naive or to ignore horrible events, but to remind us that trust can be restored. Show us what that looks like in practice, and also remind us that what matters most is our trust and personal relationship with you. Even the best leaders will fail us, but you never will, and that’s an eternal promise we can cling to. Help us model your life and love to others well, and to be leaders who stay faithful to your Word. In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen.
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