Discover how confronting past traumas, particularly those originating in childhood, is a crucial step towards personal healing and growth, offering a pathway to redefine your self-worth. This Thanksgiving, explore how faith and therapy can transform past hurts into empathy and strength, allowing you to embrace God's love and purpose for your unique journey.
“Looking backwards might be the only way to move forward” (“The Manuscript,” Taylor Swift).
Most of us have gone through traumatic experiences over the course of our lives. These adverse circumstances often leave us hurt and wounded. The people who are the closest to us tend to be the ones who leave a deeper cut compared to strangers at school, college, or work. Our parents, friends, and siblings can all hurt us in worse ways than we could ever imagine. A hurtful word or a careless action can leave us feeling terrible about ourselves.
This has certainly been true for me. Through therapy, I had to look back, actually, to heal and move forward in life. There is a reason therapy starts with your childhood because much of our pain and trauma originates when we were a child or a teen. This is why therapists go backwards before beginning with the present pain. In this way, we see that we have to look to our past to heal and move on with our lives, and a perfect time to begin healing is this Thanksgiving season.
Looking to the Past
Reflecting on the past can be painful. In fact, it can open wounds that you didn’t even know existed. From the day I first started therapy until now, I have been learning new things about myself that I didn’t know before. I used to see myself as a defenseless child who was too emotional and cried too much. After all, this is what I was repeatedly told.
However, looking to the past, I am proud of who I was. I’m proud of the girl who fought against all odds to be where she is now. Did she have problems? Of course she did, but don’t we all? Our problems make us the people we are today. We learn from our struggles, and we grow.
As someone who was always seen as a “problem,” I can share endless stories of how this has hurt me, but I will spare you a lifetime of sorrow. However, I want to share that I no longer see myself as a problem. Even though I was taught this through words and actions, I was not a problem, a nuisance, or a mistake. I was just me. No, I couldn’t do all the fantastic things that my sisters could, but that’s okay.
I’m just me, and you are just you. And there is nothing wrong with this.
If you have also been made to feel negatively about yourself, know that you are amazing just as you are. We all have problems, yet they do not take away from the truth that we are beloved children of God (1 John 3:1). Never doubt this truth and never allow anyone to tell you differently.
The Bible also tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). By being fearfully and wonderfully made, we are just the way God created us, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Our personalities, appearances, and impact on the world are all unique to us as individuals. Nobody, including our parents, friends, or partners, can take this away from us.
This Thanksgiving, we must look to the past to move forward. In the past, we were able to find healing. Reflect on when you first started feeling like a problem or bad about yourself. Was it something a parent said, or was it a hurtful word by a teacher? Look back on these things and work with a therapist to start processing these difficult memories.
Bringing Your Pain to the Foot of the Cross
In addition to talking with a therapist, it is important to bring these concerns to the foot of the cross. Bringing these concerns to Jesus will lift a heavy weight from our shoulders. The Bible tells us to cast our anxieties on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7), including the pain and trauma we experience.
The Lord cares about us, every feeling, every hurt, and every scar. He never overlooks our troubles or our pain. He sits with us in the pain and surrounds us with His comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Whenever you are in pain, turn to the Lord. Trust Him with this pain and rely on Him to give you healing. He can help you process this pain and bring vital insights into your life.
Through this process, I have found true healing through the Lord’s presence by my side. He has helped me see that there was purpose to my pain. The pain was not useless; it ultimately brought me to Him and made me who I am today. What my parents saw as being “overly emotional” or “too sensitive,” God has shown me to be empathetic, sympathetic, and compassionate. These are all beautiful gifts that God has given me, and they are nothing to be ashamed of.
Look back at your past with the Lord this Thanksgiving season. He will help you change hurtful words into something you can learn from. He has a way of working out even bad things for our good, and He will certainly do this for you (Romans 8:28). Don’t doubt Him, believe. Trust is required because once we fully trust Him, we won’t be nearly as influenced by the hurtful words of the world, our family, or our friends.
Finding Healing in the Lord this Thanksgiving
Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer. There is nothing He can’t do. He can move mountains, calm storms, and bring salvation to mankind. Nothing will stop Him from healing your heart. As we look back on our pain and traumatic experiences, we can start finding slow healing and growth through the Lord.
This will be done by reflecting on what Jesus says about us rather than what has been told to us in the past. By looking at Jesus’ actions, we can also see how much He cares about us and that we are worthy of love. The very act of Jesus dying for our sins displays how much He loves us (John 3:16-17). Jesus’ love can heal any wound, whether small or big.
Healing will be found in Jesus. The past is in the past, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us now. The past influences who we are in the present. Through the hurt, pain, and wounds, we are the people we are today. Some of these wounds have made us stronger, and others have weakened us. I can only speak for myself, but most of my wounds have only caused me to lose heart and to grow weaker.
If this is true for you, rest in peace and know that Jesus’ power is made perfect in our weakness. The Apostle Paul shares with us, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Like Paul, we have felt extreme weakness. However, our weakness shows the Lord’s power all the more. Instead of feeling helpless in our weakness, we can be strong. With Paul, we can also find strength through our weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties. This is all because of Jesus, for when we are weak, He is strong.
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