Forgiveness is a challenging but freeing process that requires God’s grace, time, and sometimes outside help, as we learn to let go of offense and align our hearts with His limitless mercy and love.
Of all Jesus’ disciples, I think I like Peter best. Perhaps it’s because he was “all in” from the start, immediately dropping his net as Jesus beckoned him from the shores of Galilee. Or maybe it’s because of Peter’s charisma, leading him to speak his mind and ask tough questions.
Remember it was Peter who questioned Jesus about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-22, which says, “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” (NKJV)
For some reason, it was important for Peter to have a number - a limit on forgiveness. Yet, the answer Jesus gave had no limit. “Seventy times seven” wasn’t a cap on forgiveness but an extension of grace as often as needed.
You might be asking, “Can I forgive again?” Are we truly expected to be gracious to those who hurt us? I pray this article will shed some light on forgiveness and give you some important things to consider.
It is possible to forgive seventy times seven without God’s help. Thankfully, He is faithful and just, ready to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And we can forgive again from this place of God’s grace and mercy.
It Will Likely Take Time
It’s rare for someone to be ready to forgive instantly. Our brains are complex organs, needing time to process the emotions caused by the offense. Even when our hearts are tender toward the things of God, and we want to obey immediately, our minds might need a little time to wrap around the idea of forgiveness.
Allow yourself to process your emotions while communicating your feelings to God. You might pray something like, “Lord, I want to follow Your conviction to forgive, but my mind is still processing the hurt and anger. Please lead me to your throne of love and grace, softening my heart toward my offender. I ask for Your divine help to forgive as You have commanded me. In Jesus’ mighty name, amen.”
Another way to inch closer to forgiveness is to ask God for His perspective. How does He see the person who offended you? By viewing them through His eyes, you might recognize the inner turmoil they’re going through and identify the unresolved issues that might be causing them to lash out.
If you’re ready to forgive someone immediately, by all means, do it. The sooner the better. This will free you from unforgiveness and help you move forward unburdened and unhindered in your walk with God.
The Memory Will Likely Return
The enemy has a sneaky way of reminding us of past offenses. And without warning, we’re taken back to the pain, hurt, and anger we’ve already worked through. When this happens, recognize it as the enemy’s tactic and refuse to entertain negative thoughts.
Recall the last time you forgave that person. Remember the freedom you felt as you released them to the Lord. Picture yourself kneeling at God’s throne again, and open your hands to symbolize letting go. Write the memory on paper, read through it once, and shred it into pieces if needed. This is a great way to stop the cycle of toxic thinking and throw away hurtful memories.
Remember the authority you’ve been given in Christ Jesus, and the power you possess by His Spirit. Every time the adversary reminds you of the offense, you can rebuke him in the name of Jesus. Refuse to partner with unforgiveness, and instead, partner with God’s grace. Be bold in your prayers, turning painful memories into declarations of faith.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom! Don’t let the enemy steal one minute of your peace in Christ. Call on the name of Jesus, believing there is power in His name.
You Might Need a Little Help
If you’ve done all you can to forgive but still feel the pull of bitterness and resentment, you might need to seek outside help. In my mentorship programs for women, I often find that people are so close to the situation that they can’t see a clear path toward forgiveness. It’s like trying to read something that’s being held too close to your face. The letters look blurry until you put some distance between your eyes and the text. Then the words become clear.
Getting help will provide an outside perspective and remove the blinders you might be wearing. Consider reaching out to a trusted mentor or friend to help bring things into focus. By seeking Godly counsel, you’ll be one step closer to forgiveness through the lens of wisdom and clarity.
Remember that a trusted Christian mentor will listen without judgment, point you to the Scriptures, and patiently help you reach that place of genuine forgiveness. Don’t hesitate to find help when anger or resentment keeps you stuck. We all need wise counsel occasionally, and there’s no shame in admitting you can’t do it alone.
Practical Tips for Forgiveness:
- Be honest about your feelings; don’t try to suppress them.
- Journal your thoughts and prayers of forgiveness toward others.
- Be empathetic to what people are going through.
- Set firm boundaries when needed, remembering that forgiveness doesn’t always lead to reconciliation.
- Be sure to forgive yourself when needed and let go of self-condemnation.
Bible Verses for Forgiveness:
Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Luke 6:37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Romans 8:1-2 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”
Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
A Prayer of Forgiveness:
Lord, with Your help, I sincerely choose to forgive the one who offended me. I see that they are wounded inside, and in turn, they are wounding others. I know this is no excuse, but with your great love, I choose to forgive them and release them to you. Please call them by name and draw them to repentance, cleansing them from all unrighteousness. Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me of my transgressions. I am humbly blessed to be saved by Your grace and thankful for Your new mercies every morning. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Resources for Forgiveness:
20 Powerful Prayers for Forgiveness - Forgiving Others and for Yourself
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Lisa Vlasenko
