Years ago, when my husband and I were being interviewed for membership at a church, the pastor looked me in the eye and said, “You are a young couple who could easily be taken advantage of by being asked to help in many ministries of the church. How will you manage not to overload yourself if that were to happen?” I looked at him and almost too bluntly stated, “I am not a people pleaser. If asked to do something that I am unable to do or that is not part of my God-given gifting, I will say “No” to the request. The Pastor was somewhat taken aback, BUT was happy with my response. What if I were someone who said yes to everything I was asked to do in a church setting? Eventually, I would become burnt out and frankly, resentful as a result of everything I was doing. A scenario like that would NOT bring glory to God.
On the flip side, you might be someone who LOVES to be involved in all aspects of church ministry. You literally thrive in that environment. BUT even though it seems helpful, are you blocking another from serving within their gifting?
With the example from my own life, it would be different if I were saying “no” to helping out just because I didn’t want to. There is a difference between “unable to” due to other commitments such as to a young family, for instance, or to aging parents or due to a job schedule that would prevent you from helping during the times required to having all the time in the world with the ability to help and then just saying no.
Man’s interests are insidious. We may think we are making a wise, prayerful decision by saying no to a request or saying yes to EVERYTHING. In fact, we are either pleasing ourselves OR trying to please others, rather than truly discerning what God would have us do and where He wants us to serve, aligning with HIS interests for our life.
Whose approval matters most in your life? The Apostle Paul asks the same questions… "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10 He later answers… “We must obey God rather than men.” Acts 5:29
A life centered on God requires prioritizing His will over human expectations. Let’s take a look at how we can ensure that God’s interests are front and center in our lives.
Understanding God’s Interests
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God". Micah 6:8
Last week I hosted a morning Women’s Bible Fellowship at my home. When I tell you I cleaned areas I hadn’t cleaned in years, I did! I was going through my house with a microscope, scrubbing every tiny nook and cranny. I even cleaned my shower! Not sure anyone was planning on LOOKING in my shower, let alone taking a shower! But there you have it. Lol.
We do that, don’t we? We think that people are coming into our house with white gloves and magnifying glasses to inspect the cleanliness of our homes. Yet, I’m sure you are NOT different from me, I NEVER look or take notice of ANY of these things. I am just so happy to be in a warm, inviting home with people I care about. What matters to me is their heart, not what the inside of their house looks like.
When we endeavor to do anything for another, whether for family, our children’s school, or our church, if our motives align with God’s interests to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God, then we are in the center of God’s will. However, if in any of those actions there is an ounce of wondering how you will appear to others or any pride that might rise, then you know you need to confess this to the Lord, reassess your motives, and proceed accordingly.
The ONLY Person you need to be concerned with is Jesus when moving forward with a task —whatever that might be—an eternal perspective matters, NOT temporary approval.
There is a difference, however, between self-sacrifice when the Lord has convicted you to act in that manner for a certain situation, than becoming someone’s doormat for their approval. Just to be clear.
When humility with an eternal perspective drives your actions, you can be confident that you are more concerned with God’s interests than man's.
Signs You May Be Focused on Man’s Interests
Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men, and so I gave in to them. 1 Samuel 15:24
I have a dear person in my life who is a people pleaser. As a result, they get so frustrated by how many people consistently violate their boundaries and, in the end, cause them so much stress. Yet their fear of what “could happen” or what the other party “might do” pushes them to allow their boundaries to be broken. This creates a never-ending cycle of being taken advantage of and, frankly, a lot of anxiety. This is the
negative side to being more focused on man’s interests than what is best for themselves, let alone what is best for them.
Sometimes, fear of man may cause us to violate the Lord’s commands, as we see above in the example from King Saul’s life. There is danger in always seeking to please man. Fearing rejection may cause us to do something contrary to God’s commands. Our desire for acceptance may even lead to a compromise in our Biblical values, such as a girl who feels pressured to have sex. Out of fear of losing her boyfriend, she gives in to a pregnancy. Her life as a Believer is now turned totally upside down.
As you can see, there is a difference between the above examples and "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others". Philippians 2:3-4 This verse does not mean that we disrespect ourselves or that we disobey God in order to serve the interests of others, but rather that we check our own hearts to see if we ourselves are bulldozing over another due to our own selfish ambition or vain conceit.
What are the signs you may be focused on man’s interests? Constant need for approval, fear of speaking truth, compromising values to fit in, or measuring success by worldly standards.
Benefits of Prioritizing God’s Interests
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well". Matthew 6:33
It’s so interesting that as a self-proclaimed rule follower, I am NOT a people pleaser. If there are rules anywhere, I will abide by them. This could stem from being a Miss Goody Two-Shoes since childhood, but again, it is only about rules, not about pleasing others.
What’s more compelling is that I was bullied mercilessly in middle school. I was very tall and thin, with buck teeth. You would think this scenario would’ve been the perfect storm for creating a people pleaser. But that didn’t happen. Although I hid from my parents until I was much older, what had happened to me in middle school due to shame, not because I feared what they would say, but because those girls made me feel ashamed, my parents are the reason I did NOT become a people pleaser. Why? Because they constantly lifted me with affirmations and encouragement. They poured into me about the person I would become and my worth.
When we seek the Lord first in all things, He WILL pour into us. He reminds us that we have been chosen before the worlds began. He is our Heavenly Father who sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. We are His beloved. When we know our standing before God, we have no reason to seek the approval of others, for we are in Christ Jesus, heirs to the Kingdom of God. There is no fear as God’s children. He is our provider and protector.
How do we shift our focus to God? Daily prayer, seeking God’s guidance, studying Scripture regularly, surrounding ourselves with godly influences, practicing obedience in small decisions, and developing a reverent fear of God over man.
As a result, we will reap the benefits of prioritizing God’s interests, including inner peace, confidence, spiritual growth, and maturity. No longer will we be concerned with man’s interests, but our hearts will be set on God’s interests.
Dear Heavenly Father, let the mind of Christ rule my heart in all things. Are you more concerned with God’s Interests or Man’s?
What steps will you take to adjust your mindset to one that puts God’s interests first?
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