Life changes quickly sometimes. When I heard “breast cancer,” for a few weeks, I refused to say or write the word “cancer”, calling it the “c word”. My heart resisted the truth. I always felt this news would be the worst. Yet, with the diagnosis came God’s grace and confidence that He’s with me every step of the way.
The evening after I received the results, I began to journal:
“I must trust my Lord, my God, who is sovereign over all. Who loves me with an everlasting love…We’re trusting Jesus. Trusting Him to use this for good… ‘Lord, I ask for Your healing, but overall, Your will be done…I don’t want this, but I choose submission to Your will, Lord. All for Your glory. Your way. Your timing. Be my strength.’ Right now, I feel held by Jesus.”
This journey isn’t over yet, but here are some lessons I’m learning:
1. People, not things, are the treasures. Family and friends are priceless gifts.
I’m astounded and blessed by the outpouring of love I’ve received. I’ve felt humbled and grateful. People offering their love and support. Calls, texts, meals, visits, cards, flowers, prayers, and expressions of love. While feeling undeserving, I also feel loved. God opened my eyes to see that the people in my life are my most precious treasures.
God’s also shown me how He’s loving me through each person. He loves us more than we can comprehend.
Lord, please keep my eyes open. Help me remember that all the people around me are gifts if I will see. Please forgive me for so often not loving others as You’ve loved me. Please help me remember to bless others as I’ve been blessed.
I’m reminded of this truth from Scripture, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven…” (Matthew 6:19a, 20a NIV). The only treasures on earth we will have in heaven are people.
2. We must submit and not resist when trials come. Our Father calls us to surrender to His love and control.
I wrote this prayer the morning of my mastectomy:
“Surgery day. I woke up aware I needed to face today with acceptance, not resistance. Then, as I prayed, I realized the doctor’s going to remove the cancer, not just my breast. Praise God! She’ll take it out of my body. May it be gone in Jesus’ name. I submit to You, Lord. I submit to the doctor. I accept what’s happening. Thank You that You’ve already used it for good. I love You, Father! Thank You for Your love!”
Later, during recovery, I wrote this:
“It’s tempting to say, 'time out. I'm not doing this. But we don’t have that option. I can’t rewind and say, ‘Let’s try that with a different outcome’. I’m not God. I’m His child. His creation. Clay in His hands. Paul taught, “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? ‘Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, “Why did you make me like this?” (Romans 9:20 NIV). How can the pot say to the Potter, “What are you doing?’… We’re called to submit to our Maker, not resist.
How do I do that, Jesus? Show me how to lean in rather than resisting Your will. Yes, I believe you sometimes heal miraculously. I also know you use suffering. I know Your grace is sufficient.”
Slowing down, listening, and trusting He is in control helps us submit to Him.
Jesus promised, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33b NIV). We’ll all face trials and troubles of many kinds, but James, the half-brother of Jesus, challenges us to consider it pure joy when we face various trials because “the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3 NIV).
3. The unknown brings the most fear.
When we know what we’re facing, we can prepare. We move forward, knowing what to expect. There may still be fear, but not like the fear we have when we face the unknown. The unknown becomes every possible outcome. We imagine the worst results. In those moments, we must cling to the goodness and sovereignty of Almighty God.
Before I met with the cancer doctors, all I knew was that I had breast cancer. I didn’t know any details, so all the possibilities ran through my head like a bad movie.
The night before my appointments with three doctors, I wrote this in my journal:
“God is my peace. My shield. My ever-present help in trouble. Waiting is hard…But he holds my future. God Almighty, the great I AM, determines the outcome. I trust You, Lord. Please continue to use all this for Your glory and for good…Thank You that You have complete authority over me, my body, my soul, and every cell in my body. Praise You! Please give me strength and courage.
Father, we get so tied to this world. Even though we know it’s short. We know this isn’t our home. My eternal home is with You. Help me make the most of the days and years I have here. At age 72, I know they’re limited. I don’t want to waste the precious gift of time. I love You, Lord! My soul rests in You. My spirit rejoices in God my Savior! …God has every minute in His hands. From beginning to end. From the end to the beginning. He is sovereign. All mysteries belong to Him.”
We all face the overwhelming fear of the unknown. In those moments, we must choose to let go and trust God.
4. Fear is an enemy.
We’re human; we will be afraid. The problem comes when we let fear have control. Satan will use fear to steal our sleep, our joy, and sometimes our trust in God.
The Bible tells us, “Do not be afraid” or “do not fear” almost 100 times. God’s Word teaches fear is not from God: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). Scripture also teaches, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18 NIV).
Fear takes our eyes off God and puts them on self or circumstances. Fear implies that God is not in control and that somehow we can be if we only get it right. But we have no control. We must trust ourselves into our Father’s hands.
5. God’s grace is sufficient.
The Apostle Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, learned this lesson when he prayed three times for God to remove an unknown-to-us suffering from his life. He had tremendous faith. Yet, God told him, “‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that
Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). Paul believed in God and lived in the assurance of His grace despite his ongoing struggle.
I wrote this on day 21:
“Time to get real. Cancer is now part of my story (first time I’ve written or said the word). It doesn’t define me. It’s not who I am. Losing my breast is part of my story. Ignoring it or pretending won’t chase it away. Refusing to say the word doesn’t cancel it. This is something God allowed. I believe it’s gone, but I don’t know yet…Grace is always available. Always here. Grace is greater than all our sins. Greater than our worst fears. Greater than our most awful pain. Deeper than our hardest sorrow. Grace that is higher, deeper, longer, more powerful than any power. Through Jesus—a name greater than any name. A name above every power and authority.”
6. Helping and praying for others gives purpose to our suffering.
It’s easy to become obsessed with oneself during suffering. But our Father desires to turn our troubles into concern for others. God commands us to love others as He has loved us. He wants us to be His hands and feet, meeting the needs of those around us. Helping and serving others out of our own experiences frees us from self-pity.
I do a great job of focusing on others' needs. God’s still patiently teaching me to love others well. The support I’ve received means so much, and I want to give the same back. Paul wrote, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV).
No matter what adversity we’re experiencing, others who have had similar stresses can benefit from our comfort.
7. Practice the Ministry of Presence.
Make the call. Say the prayer. Send the card. Buy the flowers. Say “I love you.” Cook a meal. Show you care. Give. Pray now. Be present. Listen. Offer rides. Celebrate wins. Grieve losses.
Whatever action God lays on your heart, do it now. Don’t procrastinate or think you’ll do it someday. Just do it. Every action someone took for me, no matter how small or how big, encouraged me tremendously. Every person who cared was Jesus loving me through them.
8. God has the power, not cancer.
We give power to the word “cancer.” It’s become something to fear. Some people think of it as a death sentence. But our sovereign God always has the last word.
Paul taught: “That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way” (Ephesians 1:19b-23 NIV).
God’s power is greater than any circumstance, even cancer. We can trust Him and call on Him, knowing He’s supreme over all that exists. God’s power doesn’t mean that healing always comes, or that we always get the results we want. But it does mean that cancer or other afflictions don’t have ultimate authority.
Thoughts From Day 50
When I was on my way to recovery, knowing I would not need chemo or radiation, knowing my chances of recurrence were low, I wrote these words:
“That God loves me is astounding. His love is beyond comprehension. Lord, I don’t want to lose what You’ve taught me these past weeks. I don't want to lose the connection. I always need You, not just when cancer threatens. We never know what’s around the corner. I need you every minute. I trust You. Help me cling to You. Jesus, just as I trust You with my body, I trust You with my Spirit, my being, my personality, my choices, who I am, what I am, moving forward. All that I am is Yours!
God gave me the grace I needed for this journey. I know that even if I had to go through it all—more surgery, chemo, radiation—His grace would be sufficient. He gives me what I need when I need it.”
Whatever you’re facing, Scripture tells us, “Let us approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV)
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/ThitareeSarmkasat
Susan Aken is a writer, wife, mom, and follower of Jesus. She is an Oklahoma native but has lived in Nebraska for years. Besides writing, she has a passion for special needs and prayer ministries. She enjoys time with family, reading, and nature photography. She loves studying and teaching Bible truth. She believes life is a journey and we’re all in different places. Jesus is everything to her and it’s all about grace. Visit her at susanaken53.wordpress.com or on Facebook.
