Originally published Tuesday, 20 May 2014.
I've been quiet with my words and with my actions as of late.
It’s not that I haven't had anything to say or to write or even to do because I have. Over the past few weeks, I have learned a few lessons, been “wowed” by God, received a tremendous amount of grace and experienced new levels of mercy. So you see I have a lot to process and I have a lot I should be doing…
But I've been quiet because... well, I just haven't felt like it...
Like doing much of anything.
Wow. I can't believe that I just typed that.
But, it's true and sometimes a girl just has to tell the truth!
Now I know that there are times for resting. For listening. For leaning in, absorbing and for growing.
I know that as a wife, a mother of 4 littles, a friend, a daughter, a magazine editor and an author... I need to rest. There are times for that. And knowing when to stop and to sit back and refuel is more than important-- it's mandatory.
But can I be honest with you?
That's not where I am.
Sometimes, the aforementioned reasons for resting, although legitimate, can become an easy excuse to not stretch and do the new things that God is calling you to do.
Between my hiding behind these excuses and the normal things that occupy my hands and busy my days, I have been guilty of not initiating the new and the hard things that challenge my spiritual growth.
Honestly, I just have not felt like being challenged. I have not felt like being asked to do more than what I am already doing, comfortably.
Well friends, (we are still friends right?) today I am doing it! I am fighting past my feelings and surrendering my comfort.
Because the truth is, God is not interested in our feelings. He's not interested in our convenience or even our comfort. He's interested in our obedience...when it's uncomfortable, when it's challenging, and yes even when we don't feel like it.
When God causes our hearts to turn, he expects our feet to move. And not because it makes us feel good, but because it brings Him Glory.
Fighting past what we feel is a choice and sometimes choosing to only do what we feel, is simply disobedience.
Like I said, “I have learned a few lessons, been “wowed” by God, received a tremendous amount of grace and experienced new levels of mercy. So you see, I have a lot to process and I have a lot I should be doing…”
And today, I am fighting my feelings. I know I am not alone.
Let’s do it together.
“Here I am God. Use me.”