Originally published Sunday, 12 January 2014.
This is the way God put it:
“They found grace out in the desert, these people who survived the killing. Israel, out looking for a place to rest, God out looking for them!” Jeremiah 31:2 (MSG)
I don’t really want to write this. I don’t want to write about hearing for the third time that my husband has cancer.
I had hoped to be tapping out words about how he was healed, how we could go on with life, how the cancer was gone.
The reality is different.
On Monday after waiting for results all weekend we were told that there are two active nodes that will need radiation.
I sat there numb. I’ve heard bad news too often the last two years to react with much more then a “What do we next?”
Turns out the next thing is radiation for a month.
So we’re stumbling back into the world of cancer treatment. I’ve felt more restless this time. I’ve felt more like I’m walking into a wilderness.
This time I’ve been angry with God. I’ve asked God when this will all end, if we’ll ever sit in an oncologist’s room and hear good news?
And God replied.
He didn’t speak to me, so I can’t tell you what his voice sounds like. And God didn’t speak to my husband.
Rather he woke up someone I’ve never met. She wrote that God told her in the middle of the night to tell us that he loves us.
As I read her words - out in my cancer desert - I found grace, I found God out looking for me.
I was out looking for a place to rest, but God knew I’d only find rest in him. (tweet this)
I find it fascinating that Jeremiah 31:2 says that the one’s who found grace were not only those out in the desert, but those who survived something that sought to kill them.
I love the idea of God wondering around in the desert seeking out these hungry, wounded, hopeless people.
Imagine bumping into God in a desert?
It’s hard to envisage a desert with God there because with a command he can bring forth water and create shade.
God can bring life into a desert.
God can bring life into the worst scenario of your life.
That’s how what I remembered after God woke up a lady to tell us that he loves us.
God didn’t wait for me to be still enough to hear his voice he just woke someone else up and said, “Tell those kids that I love them.”
God came looking for me. (tweet this)
Imagine bumping into God on one of the worst days of your life? (tweet this)
It leaves me with such a sense of wonder, that God seeks me out when I don’t have the strength to find him on my own.
Ponder: Can you recall a time in your life when God came looking for you?
Prayer: God, I’m in awe that you would come looking for me. Thank you for reminding me that you love me.
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- This was orginally published on my site in November 2013 to read more devotionals like this go to ilovedevotionals.com