Nicki Koziarz is a speaker, writer, and leader in today's generation. She lives just outside of Charlotte, NC with her husband and their three girls. As a leader and speaker, Nicki is willing to tackle the hard issues this generation is facing to encourage the pursuit of God's Truth in their lives. She is on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries as the coordinator for their online Bible studies. Nicki speaks nationally for retreats, conferences, events and MOPS groups. For more information on having Nicki for your next event you can email her at: [email protected] Visit Nicki's site at: www.nickikoziarz.com
The bathroom mirror seems to be the culprit of these types of conversations within me. I stand there day after day bushing hair, examining wrinkles and blemishes, looking into my tired-worn-out eyes, while wondering… who are you really becoming?
The truth is, these days I’ve let too much noise in. Understanding who I am becoming feels hard to determine. I feel stuck, like there’s a me trying to get out, but I find myself living in the leftovers of so many life situations.
I guess I always assumed that by the age of thirty-four I would know exactly who I was and where I was going.
But now it seems most days I’m not sure I will ever arrive at that confident place.
And so, as I try to unstick my life process today, I’m thinking through what it really means to become … me.
I’m giving myself these permissions, these orders, these Ten Authenticity Commandments so to speak… to help me stay true to myself while becoming myself. Maybe if you are feeling a little lost today they might speak to you too…
1.You shall live as though life is a process of becoming.
This process of discovering who we really are isn’t something we simply awaken to one day. Life’s peaks, valleys and plateaus all lead us through this process. While life has a start line and a finish line, much of the in-between isn’t so definable. But each day has something to offer in the shaping of our souls.
2.You shall pay close attention to the people you are surrounding yourself with.
That saying, “you become most like the five people you spend the most amount of time with,” it’s true. Do you leave the company of those five people feeling inspired and better about yourself or anxious and fearful of everything you said? Choose your five wisely.
3.You shall embrace where you are not where you wish to be.
Life is short. Assume today is all you get. We cannot really live by chasing the “one-day” scenarios. What if this is it?
4.You shall have permission to change your mind.
That color you thought you would love until the grave and now you hate it? It’s ok to change your mind. That job you worked so hard to get but now your just not sure? It’s ok to change your mind. Living as you is messy and complicated. It’s ok to change your mind, even more than once.
5.You shall do something each day that makes you feel alive.
We will lose ourselves no faster than when we stay in the cycle of busy and go. What is it that makes you feel alive? Is it snapping a picture? Feeling dirt beneath your feet? Watching the sunset or rise? Is it laughing until your core hurts? Press pause on busy and make a mad dash each day towards those things that make you feel alive.
6.You shall not believe the life you live is second best.
No matter how small someone makes you feel, what the world screams you need more of or the lack of something you have today, this life is your life and it’s the number one life for you. And it’s a great life —if we see it that way.
7.You shall keep your excuses in check so they will not become reasons to stay the same.
There will always be things you need to work on. Staying healthy, having the right thoughts, working harder, working less… there is always room for personal improvement.
8.You shall love your peculiarities rather than try to hide them.
The way you snort when you laugh. Your expressions on selfies. How you narrate your dogs life. The way you slurp spaghetti noodles. Your really bizarre Starbucks order. These are the beautiful things that make you, you.
9.You shall love yourself in a way that reflects Gods love for you.
Those moments where you just don’t like yourself? They will come. But remember, love covers a multitude of wrongs. [Proverbs 10:12] Give yourself grace. Grace for your failures, grace for the bent places in your life, grace for the process of becoming you.
10.You shall stay in the shadow of someone long enough to learn what you must learn but then you must move to your own sunlight.
There is a time to learn, a time to sow, and a time to grow. But then there is a time to shine your light and help others find their own. Know when your season of shadow is done.
What about you? Which of these do you need the most in your life right now? I’d love to hear what’s going on with you in the comment section today.