Originally published Wednesday, 04 September 2013.
Do you ever ask yourself WHY you really do something? As in “have a heart to heart with yourself”…. Digging deep down within and just being honest with you, on a few things?
I think we often, WAIT, maybe I should speak for myself here, I think I often assume the best about myself, my intentions and my reason for doing what I do or thinking what I think……
I found myself here just the other night!
It all began with innocent comparison in my mind, Note: comparison is NEVER innocent! In my mind I was comparing myself to others when it came to a certain subject.
Problem #1: I didn’t catch myself here, in this unwise place of comparison
Which led to Problem #2: I began to find myself comfortable in the Judgment Seat of Christ, judging not only myself but the other people I was comparing myself too.
Which led to Problem #3: I started to condemn myself and let guilt overtake me (not for the comparison. See I had not even realized Problem #1 yet, I had no idea where the “problem” first started) I was condemning myself for not doing what others were doing.
Which honestly led to Problem #4: trying to prove myself to those I was comparing myself too and little did “these people” even know……
………Because it was all in my MIND!
I basically committed 4 sins….in a prettttttttttty short amount of time……
2. Judgment of myself
3. Judgment of others
4. Good old fashion pride….
Whoa, whoa, whoa and whoa……
To say I realized in that moment what true grace was all about, is an understatement, I about fell off my chair when I started to write it out on paper (which is often how I work through thoughts swirling around in my brain) and realized how this simple (seemingly innocent thought) turned into a string of SIN, WOW. All I can say is thank you to God for sending His son Jesus to die on a cross for my sins, past, present and future, not because I am even close to perfect, but because of how imperfect I amEVEN when I am “TRYING” my best…
Feel free to write out your “swirlings” (swirling= thoughts in your head) below!