Originally published Friday, 12 February 2016.
Valentines Day. In the car. Two in love. Or so I thought.
Until, what he thought was a joke made me question it all.
Until it made me question whether this man I thought I loved was just another bad duck in the sea of ugly ducklings.
He said: "I don't believe in Valentine's Day gifts. I think they are overrated."
I said: "You what?! Excuse me?"
Does he think appreciating the one he loves is - overrated?
Does he think that love is - overrated?
Does he think that giving is - overrated?
The more he tried to justify this stance, the more my head was ready to explode.
All I could hear was, "Apparently I am overrated."
Apparently, I am not special.
Apparently, he is stingy.
Apparently, he doesn't know the value of giving.
Apparently, he will never be a man to do the dishes, give to his children and bring flowers home on a tough day.
Apparently, I need to reconsider if he is the one for the long haul.
Men, beware what you speak in terms of Valentine's Day. Women are listening and they are evaluating their future based on your casual remarks.
They may act like they don't care, but I assure you - they do. Valentine's Day is no joking matter.
Men, I am about to hand you a gift. I going to let you in on a little secret. It is one hardly any woman will ever admit. For the most part, she will try to fake that Valentine's day is a commercialized day of overspending or that she got over it ten years ago or that she knows you love her - but, her insides tell a different story. They say, "This is a make or break day."
And, to answer the underlying question that many of you may have - no, it doesn't matter that you have been together for decades. This point is mute.
She still wonders:
Am I going to be the only one left without red flowers, or will I be the one with the biggest?
Will I read about his deep love or will I see my face downcast in the mirror as I stand cardless?
Will I be wooed and valued, held and loved or will I have another night of TV and common discussion?
Women are waiting and watching and wishing that you will see them.
They are hoping and dreaming that you will look at them the same way you did that first day you met.
They are imagining a rekindling and a renewal that will propel your relationship.
Do everything in love. (1 Cor. 16:14)
What love might God be calling you to show on this one day of the year?
It may be something you have never considered, it may be depths you have never gone or it may be a word you have been afraid to speak. But, one thing I can assure you of is that it is normally is not about buying the most expensive gift, showing up with the biggest bouquet or handing over the finest of chocolate. All of these things are fine, in gesture, but what your woman really wants to see you hand over is - your heart in love.
She wants to be seen for who she is.
She wants to know that you are as committed as ever.
She wants to feel as beautiful as the first day you met.
She wants to hear you listening.
She wants to see you sacrifice to pursue her.
She wants to feel special as you dote on her.
She wants to stand confident that you will hold on to her forever.
She wants to recommit in love and to know, together, you will stand firm through trials.
She wants to know you more.
She wants to love you deeper.
She wants to give you her best too.
She wants to delight in a man she trusts.
She wants to cling to a man she respects.
Reach deep, she is waiting - and, likely, longing to draw near.
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