God abandoned me in my time of need.
He left his daughter in the desert of nothingness.
The blessing-keeper forgot his role.
The one who was supposed to come through, didn't.
I am not afraid to admit for a moment, I whined like this - like a baby.
I didn't get what I wanted.
Waaa!!!! I cried, until I found my daddy and found consolation in his arms. As he held me in love, I could start to grab hold of the truth: not getting could be God's bigger gift. It highlights the barriers blocking contentment.
It was a lightbulb, sight-in-the-darkness, there-is-power-in-the-pain kind of moment.
Surely, when we "get" - all is good. We are happy, joy-filled and thankful, but, what happens when we don't get the good gifts we expect?
Here, we start to see what our heart is really after.
Our spiritual thought life surfaces.
We can take notice of our sprint (or crawl) time to prayer.
Do we throw a temper tantrum
or do we temper our hearts in the truth of God?
The desire, idols and pursuits of our heart shine in this place. We can see them for what they are.
What do you see when God doesn't give to you?
Our tantrums highlight the great heart work will complete.
He sees our pain and it certainly doesn't pains him too.
But, he allows it because he is working something even more magnificent, more fantastic and more glory-filled than our initial want.
Many times, he doesn't settle for the immediate gift, because he is working an entire heart makeover.
"Not getting" teaches us how to put this (often seemingly impossible) verse into action:
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Phil. 4:12)
God's best gift is learning how to keep our dedication
as steady as an arrow
and our feelings as sure as a bullet,
despite the size of the enemy coming against.
Then we can find true joy and peace.
This gift lasts forever.
It doesn't rust and end up in the attic months later.
When we find God, we find stability. Not stability due to a circumstantial blessing, hope, dream or wish, but steady footing in the knowledge he is bringing us to a better place.
I pray, today, that I can see all that I don't get as an indicator of all that I already have. I pray that I will take notice of my heart condition to see how it may need a course-redirect. I ask God not to always give me what I want in order that I can receive the better gift, which is him. The power is not in the getting, but in the beholding.
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