A couple of weeks ago, I panicked. After reading some random comments about God on a webpage, I suddenly got the sense I wasn't good enough for God. I became stressed, thinking, “I needed to be the keeper of my faith.” I thought if I didn't perform well enough for God, He wouldn't want me. Or, if I didn't do enough "make-God-happy" stuff, He wouldn't bless me. It terrified me, shook me and got me thinking about his truth.
With the space of days, I began to see clearly from the woods.
Here, I noticed:
- God doesn't speak like an accuser.
- Condemnation is not the sound of His voice.
- Conviction is his method, but truth spoken in love is always his manner.
Understanding these dynamics about God offered me a deep breath. And a baseline for the judgments and critiques coming against me. This was important because I desperately wanted to let in what was from God and let go of what wasn't. We all want this, don't we?
After much searching, I was left with one realization, described in 4-words: fear of the Lord.
I must have a healthy fear of the Lord. Not an unhealthy one.
An unhealthy "Fear of the Lord" thinks:
- God will get me and ruin me if I do bad.
- God has a heavenly taser ready to zap me.
- If I do good, God will be good to me.
- If I act like a bad girl, God will desert me and go on to the next girl.
- Doubt and complacency is okay because it keeps me from sinning and making Him angry.
- Father might take from me and give to the next girl if I keep making mistakes.
- My vulnerability with God opens me up to getting hurt.
- I need to panic and stinkin' figure things out, ASAP.
Healthy fear of the Lord thinks:
“He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” Ps. 145:19
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Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.