Originally published Monday, 19 February 2018.
I didn't push the girl's sheet of paper. I didn't. She was the one who kept inching her colored sheet over mine and trying to irk me all throughout art class. And despite my best efforts to ignore her, she wouldn't stop. She did something else annoying too. She kicked me under the table. It was taking everything in me not to respond.
Until, I did. She pushed too far. So I screamed out in the middle of the elementary school classroom, "Stop it." The girl barked to the teacher that I'd been pushing her sheet. But I hadn't.
I got in big trouble. The girl sat there unscathed. I sat in the punishment seat. The girl sat there smiling. I sat fuming. The girl sat in victory.
Where was my defender? Who stood up for me? Why didn't God bring justice? I wasn't doing anything wrong.
I still ask these questions, even as an adult.
Why? Why did all that happen? Where were you God? Why did I go down those roads? Where were you God? Why did I get hurt like that? Where were you, God?
When I look back and see God’s absence, it makes me believe He was negligent.
But was He?
While horrible stuff happened, it never kept me away from God's love. While things went wrong, I still lived. While stuff hurt my insides, it never ruined me. While there were some close calls, I often squirmed right past.
Just because we can't see God work doesn't mean He isn't working.
There is so much I can't see in the moments when I believe He’s not defending me. Like His hands holding things back, the angels He sends on my behalf, and the wisdom He pours down from high to help me understand things. Like the arms wrapping around me when I think I am alone, the heavenly court docket that has no record of my wrongs, and the road he reroutes to make sure I am take care of.
Don't discount the Protector working in the unseen just because you can't see Him.
Here I stand today. I may have fallen and felt alone yesterday, but I stand victorious in Christ. I stand wanted and in His love. I stand whole and wholly loved. It looks like God took care of me pretty well. He continues to. He does the same for you.
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