How do you handle confrontation?
- 2018 Mar 21
Is that knotted feeling of annoyance building in your stomach? Are you avoiding a person because they keep doing that thing? Do you know what’s right, but are afraid to share what's wrong?
I like avoidance. I can pretend all is good, until it isn't. Until I get to the point where I'm about to explode. Here, at 500 degree temperatures, I find it's nearly impossible to present, "Love is patient. Love is kind."
Poor sight says, “Protect yourself.”
Good foresight says, “Address frustration.”
Godly insight says, "God, how?"
I used to just go up to people and unload. I lost friends. I also used to hide my annoyance in fear, until one day I'd stop returning the friend's calls. Both strategies are losing strategies. You end up down a friend and/or walking around with a lead-heavy heart.
If you find you continually lose due to a strategy, the strategy must change. That's what I discovered as it pertained to my approach. So when a friend recently offended me and I wanted to unload on her, wisdom spoke, “Talk to your husband about it first, give yourself some time to process it, and talk to God about it.”
The more I did, the more I realized: No two people are alike and neither are two situations. God has specific plans for each predicament, but what He always wants to prevail is love.
"And do everything with love." 1 Cor. 16:4
How can love prevail in your relationship?
Often it is less about talking and more about praying. If we prayed far more about what we blabbed about, we might arrive at a wonderful outcome. This is what I've been pondering. And it’s much of what God called me to do with my friend. Rather than do nothing, I can pray continually. I have a feeling huge change is coming and it starts not with my feet approaching her, but with my knees planted down on the ground.
What might your approach be? Consider asking God about it.
Or, book Kelly to speak at your next women's event or conference.