I should have done better.
Why did I do that?
I am such an idiot.
Ever spoken these words over yourself? I have.
I take all the things I have done and I judge them for my performance, my worth and my value.
As if these things are the summation of all that I am, can do and will be.
As if these things determine my day, my faith walk and my feelings.
I am hard, oh so hard on myself - hit-myself-with-a-2x4 hard sometimes.
But, is this even godly?
Is this even biblical?
The truth is:
1. He already handled them as he poured them all out over Jesus on the cross. (Is. 53:6)
2. He seizes them up and throws them out. (Jo. 1:29)
3. They are taken and covered by his holiness, grace and righteousness. (Ro. 4:7)
4. God moves my sin as far away as my hometown is from Chinatown. (Ps. 103:12)
5. They are lost, not to be found. Pardoned, for those he has saved. (Jer. 50:20)
6. Like a dead body thrown in the water, never to be seen again, God throws our old sins into the depth of the sea. (Mic. 7:19)
7. He remembers no word of them. (Heb. 10:17)
8. He blesses us in the process of removing our sin. (Ro. 4:8)
9. The guilt, the shame, the part that we feel responsible for - he nailed to that cross. (Col. 2:14)
10. He leaves us white, holy, renewed, revived, whole, complete, righteous, pardoned, sanctified and justified in him. (Ps. 51:17)
As the weight of sin moves out the weight of hope can move in.
A weight of hope that shows us:
Jesus died so we didn't have to.
He sent the Spirit so we could live day-by-day with a new and living hope.
This power is alive and active - in us.
Do we rely on it?
Do we see it?
Or, do we operate by pounds and pounds, weight over weight of shame and guilt?
When we let the power of shame, guilt and discontentment take hold, the power of God is squelched. Yet, when we see God's power for what it is - powerful - and his sin bashing skills for what they are - working, we live free to walk in the hope, love and grace that is Jesus.
I think I hear God calling me today, to let go of performance, praise and perfectionism. I pray, that with humble hearts, we all can let go of what we are not, to grab hold of all that Christ is (death that ends our death so that we can have life). The truth is that he rejoices over us and wants us to believe and activate the power he has already handed over.
“The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17