Originally published Tuesday, 22 May 2012.
Working with single women all around the country leads to one inevitable question by many: "How did you find a good, Christian man?" (Fellows, you could use this same advice when looking for your future mate).
For years, I convinced myself that I would never find a godly husband. I listened to the lies of Satan who told me I was not good enough, I had made too many mistakes, and that no good man would ever want me with my ready-made family. It was only when I started listening to the truth that is God's word that I was able to become 100 percent comfortable in my singleness. (And wouldn't you know, that is just when God brought me a husband?!)
There are two thoughts you must first consider:
1. Start by asking yourself, “Do I want a godly man or do I just want a man?” If you are simply searching for a man, then you will settle for less than God's best.
2. Stop convincing yourself you can CHANGE him into a Christian, a good man. You were never "called" to lead this ungodly man to Christ, so that he can one day become your husband. (Sorry, ladies, but it is true).
Once you have really began to analyze your motive for finding a Godly spouse, you can move on to the three points I have learned about finding the right man for you.
Start by asking yourself, “Do I want a godly man or do I just want a man?” Stop convincing yourself you can CHANGE him into a Christian, a good man.
Be a godly woman. Where in the Bible does it give instruction on being a godly woman? Proverbs 31!
Proverbs 31:11 -- “Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life.” Enrich means “to add to.” You cannot add to a man's life when you are looking to take from him. You cannot be on the hunt for a man to father your kids, to pay your bills, or to complete you.
Proverbs 31:25 -- “She is clothed with strength and dignity. ... When she speaks her words are wise.” How does a woman with strength and dignity carry herself? (No short skirts, no boobs out.) If you are in the middle of Walmart cussing your child, are you using wise words? Does that attract a man?
Be wise. Be familiar with God's word.
Proverbs 24:3 -- “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.”
Proverbs 24:12 -- “Don't excuse yourself by saying, 'Look, we didn't know.' For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows what you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”
Don't be in a hurry.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under the sun.”
Jeremiah 29:11 -- “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”