Originally published Sunday, 12 June 2016.
“The only thing we know for sure about life is that we won’t get out of it alive.” Louis L’Amour
We don’t know when or how death will come and most of us don’t consider death until we have to. In a lighthearted way, my husband and I discuss the worst ways to die. When it comes to being eaten by a bear, it’s better to be frozen human Popsicle for a polar bear frenzy over a living steak for the Colorado Mountain Black bear. We take such a light hearted approach to death because we both have the assurance of salvation, a serious matter we secured long ago.
For me death doesn’t hold fear but promise of an eternity with Jesus. It involves me dreaming of my room with a view in the palatial mansion in a higher place. An expansive estate my Heavenly Father has prepared for me and my family. It gives me peace at night to know I have an open reservation for my immediate check in time, and it’s the fulfillment of wholeness which awaits all of us who believe.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” This one verse connects me to God’s original intention for His children from our very beginning. When God created the world, He pronounced it very good (Genesis 1:31). Since the Creator cannot improve on the created order, then the best thing for us to acknowledge is all of creation was made and established in perfect order. We live to enjoy the life we have, and accept when we die, the same order established in the beginning will usher us all home by His loving care and peace.
Having peace in times of death removes all the scary parts about dying. Charles Stanley puts it like this: “Absent with the body, present with the Lord.” Peace comes in knowing where you are going if you are a believer in Jesus Christ.
We spend most of our lives running from death when in actuality we all have an appointed time to die. Think about all the ways we try to regain our youth from diet pills to spa treatments and tons of quick fixes for our ailments. All to stop the natural process established by God’s order since the beginning of time.
Okay, so we can accept we all have an appointed time to die. We, as believers, know our eternal landing spot, Heaven, so what is so scary about death we don’t like to think about it? It’s how we are going out. I always thought I would come crashing through the gates of Heaven. Not from my careless living but as a result of someone else’s carelessness.
All this fuss is over the recent death of my father last week. I was looking for joy and couldn’t find it. After all, at 94, he had a full life and handed down a rich legacy of work to his children. He worked hard all of his life until his health forced him into an "early retirement" at 93. His life left an imprint of caring for a neighborhood church doing what he loved to do, gardening and mowing. (Yes, he really did like to mow the grass). His life statement was “I would rather wear out than rust out.” Oh sure, he made mistakes like the rest of us but as far as his tenacity and responsibility for family, I find myself grateful and blessed to be one of his children who will carry on his rich heritage of caretaking.
Since his parting, there’s been a sense of urgency in my heart to share the personal perspective on death to lend a more compassionate view of death itself. There are many who don’t know Christ sitting in the church pews. Sure, they may know of God, and call on His name frequently but how many really KNOW Him to trust Him unto death?
At some point in life, we have to come to grips we are not invincible and will die. Even further, our children have questions too, and as a mom I can honestly say I didn’t have the answers when my children were young. Although as a family, we had to grip the fact of death for real in my husband’s bout with cancer, the subject never came up where we wrestled with the reality of death in his life. Thankfully, he was healed of cancer and has walked cancer-free for 21 years now. I shudder thinking about having to raise my two young children alone. I wasn’t prepared to be a single-mom at any age.
Death should force us all to come to grips with the afterlife and the reality of our eternal home. Death forces the issue of life in death. From my personal perspective it helps to understand death is only a new beginning to our eternal rest. My adult children believe I think about the morbid things too much. I believe you can’t prepare too much for arriving on Heaven’s door.
I was surprised however when my daughter called and told me a conversation between my 5-year-old grandson, Avery, and his daddy. “Daddy, are you going to die?” he asked. I gasped, when I heard her relate such a big question coming from her little guy. It was obvious he had been churning death around in his mind. After all, the question came following the death of two of great-grandpas. Let’s also mention he made a decision to secure his eternal home by accepting Christ in the same year.
My daughter continued sharing her husband’s fatherly response, “No, son I’m not dying, why do you ask?” Avery replied, “Well, I saw the back of your head today, and your hair looked like great-grandpa’s hair. And he died so I thought you were dying too.”
I smiled through my tears. I was able to have joy in the death of his fear and it helped me have a light hearted approach to the death of my father. Dealing with life and death matters through the eyes of a child are always less complicated. But each and every time it does hit us by surprise. Here are some simple steps to help us ALL accept death as a part of life:
- Be their “ear” through the pain and grief of loss. Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2 “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die.” When it seems like everything is falling apart, remember there’s an order to death ordained by God.
- Be comforted through uncertainty and fears. Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” Peace is our anchor in every storm which chases life. An anchor holds through hard winds and uncertainties, insecurities and fears. It holds us calm in every storm. My dad went peacefully in his sleep, it was the best point of entry he could have.
- Be God’s love past the hand of death to pass it around. Ecclesiastes 3:8 “A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.” Confusion is often an adversary in death. When you understand death is a part of God’s love timeline for all of us, we can accept it as less of a harsh blow and more of a blessing. In all actuality, death doesn’t steal life, but accelerates our eternal life with Jesus. As believers, there is no better end than to live eternally with our Creator.
- Be time generous - spread joy and peace in the face of sorrow. Ps. 23:4 “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” Yes, death hurts and we mourn our losses. We are not alone in death but always (even in the dark days of death - He is with us!) have the presence of God in our lives. If our loved ones, who go Home before us, could really share with us what they see now and how they are seen and fully known, we couldn’t ask them to come back. Yes, we miss them but we celebrate they made it home before us. What a reunion time it will be to see them plus ourselves whole and as we are fully known to God.
Points to ponder: The reason you are still alive and reading this is your purpose on earth is not fulfilled yet. There’s more people to love, spread joy to and bring with you through the Heavenly gates. Don’t be sad when a loved one passes away, find joy in the fact they are whole and fully known now. Imagine the finest drink from the fountain of youth! And the view…Oh my…if you could see it….you would be telling your friends about it too.
In what ways have you helped a person through the pain of death?