Originally published Tuesday, 05 July 2016.
I have had a lot of questions for God over this last year because of major life changes occurring constantly.
Many of them have started with “why” or “what.”
Knowing that I cannot find my identity in anything I do, I guess I have been trying to figure out why I haven’t felt like I can’t find my place. I don’t want to use the word “lost,” because I know that I’m found by Him and known by Him, but what does my life look like as His child?
From that position as daughter of the Most High God, what does that look like to other people who see my response to being His child?
When I’m “doing life” every day, what gifts stand out that help me point others to Jesus?
Last week, I saw a graphic in my Facebook feed that had me asking even more questions regarding my current season in life.
“WHAT IS ONE THING THAT YOU DO, THAT WHEN YOU DO IT, YOU FEEL GOD’S PRESENCE?”
Can I get real with you for a minute?
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in that place. Like CONTINUALLY in that place. CONSISTENTLY in that place.
Now, I’m not talking about spending time in prayer or worship in my quiet-time.
I can sense God’s presence when I press into those times. Not everytime and I surely have to fight for those moments now that I’m a mom since it seems I am always being interrupted by my precious little one compared to life before him.
But that question made me really take inventory of those times when I was using the gifts I have been given from above- the gifts that I use to glorify God completely.
Because it’s been so long since I’ve continually and consistently been experiencing God’s presence and sensing His grace while I’m pouring out as His vessel, it is so hard to put my finger on what that place looks like in my current season.
I can tell you what that experience used to look like in my past. It has been so extremely difficult for me to not want that time in my life back because I know God wants to show me new aspects of Himself and wants me to always been growing and walking in new life every single day.
We would undoubtedly get knocked down or lose sight of where we are going because we aren’t looking at what is in front of us. That’s like trying to drive a car safely, but your eyes are on the rear-view mirror. There’s a reason it’s smaller than the windshield- we have to have clear vision of everything around us so we can keep our eyes looking straight forward! And on Jesus, might I add!
I guess my entire point to this blog is that this season, for me, has been learning how to just be. It has probably been one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. I am a do-er by nature. I have tried to make things happen, to get myself working and busy again, and then just like that, the desire to do them goes away.
Ha! Thanks, God!
I can say that I feel God’s presence when I’m writing, but instead of the desire fading, I just can’t find the mental focus or clarity to sit down and make sense of what is going on in the ol’ noggin. The same thing can be said when I’m leading corporate worship, but I haven’t been able to do that since last September because we left our church home and God hasn’t really opened up any doors for me to lead right now. I also sense God’s presence when I teach the Bible, but my opportunities have been few and far between for that.
As I sit here and reflect and try to grapple with the whole purpose of this blog, I hear the Holy Spirit say “The Father wants you to feel His presence simply by being His daughter.”
Could that be the answer to the question that sparked this post?
But this is so contrary to our culture and our human condition it’s not even funny! We want to work to find accomplishment and satisfaction in what we have done. We want that pleasure of knowing we did a good job. We get rewarded as children by our grades shown on report cards and receive promotions in our careers for how well we performed.
It’s integrated in lives so early on and plays out through so many areas of our life as we get older.
This isn’t a terrible idea because I believe God doesn’t want us to coast in life or be lazy. He’s given us a purpose and has a dream for our life. But we should never allow working hard to become the driving force of how we live our life.
As I write this, the song “Good Good Father” by Housefires is playing in the background.
This song has become an anthem in our churches. Why? Because of it’s message:
You’re a good, good Father
It’s who You are,
It’s who You are,
It’s who You are
And I’m loved by You
It’s who I am,
It’s who I am,
It’s who I am
It’s so incredibly simple, but it is at the core of the gospel- The Father gave His only Son for the whole world so that those who would believe on Him would never spiritually die but have everlasting life, experiencing restored fellowship with their Heavenly Father. For those who embrace Jesus and put their trust in Him are given the right to be called children of God! There is absolutely NOTHING we can do to earn that position. We can’t work for it. It isn’t based upon our performance; it’s based on Jesus’ performance on the Cross! All that is required of us if faith in Jesus Christ! We embrace Jesus and the Father embraces us!
It was because of the Father’s great love for us that this is true. He is our Father, we are His children. That’s it!
It’s from that place that we live, and move, and have our being (Acts 17:28a).
Did you catch that? Have our BEING! Not that we now can have ourdoing.
I don’t believe what we do while here on this earth is God’s main concern. I believe His main concern for us is that we know whosewe are!
So instead of constantly asking God what He wants you to do, first and foremost, ask Him to reveal more of your identity to you, who He has made you to be!
Instead of feeling like I have been stripped of purpose in this season because I don’t feel like I’m doing much to glorify God, I’m going to rejoice that in this time of rest, He is revealing more to me of my identity as a daughter of God!
Being a child of God is the great position you will ever stand in! Today, just be that!
Check out more of my blogs on www.emilyrosemassey.com! Also, visit my website for more information on how to stay connected with me, as well as info about my book Yielded in His Hands- now available on Amazon.com!