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"Threes" Mini-Series Part 2: The Three Perspectives That Can Transform Your Marriage

Originally published Monday, 19 March 2012.


The right perspective can make all the difference in your marriage.

One recent Saturday, my husband and I were in the car together. I was in the passenger seat, enjoying being driven around all weekend long after being the driver for the junior set during the week.

At the light, we had an experience that I’m sure you’ve had too.  He had his foot on the brake when we both suddenly felt we were moving. I asked, “Are we moving, or are they?”  It turns out that the car beside us was slowly moving forwards, giving us the feeling that we were going backwards.

Knowing which way you’re going depends on your perspective.

This also holds true in marriage.

For example, have you ever looked back at a rough patch in your relationship, that at the time seemed as if the relationship were sliding backwards? But with the perspective of time, you realized that you became closer by making it through that difficult stage. You were actually moving  forwards.

The way you view it depends on your perspective.

Here are three types of perspectives that can help your marriage:

1) The perspective of purpose. The purpose of marriage is not simply to make us happier people.  It is designed to make us better people.  This occurs through the daily work of giving and forgiving in marriage. We shouldn’t be surprised to find many days of hard work in marriage, along with the many days of happiness.

2) The perspective of time.  The difficulties at hand may feel as if they’ve been around “forever.”  It’s never going to change, we inwardly sigh.  Yet, the Bible teaches us that our problems here are temporary.  Seeing our struggles in the light of eternity grows our ability to keep going forward.

3) The perspective of power.  The true seat of power in our marriages lies with God.  He created us, and put us together.  He is the source of our strength.  He continually refreshes us, even when our marriages feel as if they are in a dry season. We can turn to Him for the power to stay married.

What feels like a step backwards right now may be the beginning of a huge step forward that you won’t see until you get further down the road.

The right perspective can help transform your marriage.

Try it out:  Is there a situation in your marriage where you feel you could do with some perspective?  Write down what it would be like to apply any one of these perspectives to the situation.  How does this change the way you feel towards your spouse and your marriage? 


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I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  You can share in the comment box! (just below or upper left)

Dr. Ann is a Christian M.D., wife to a fantastic husband, and mom to a lively gang of three.  At The Marriage Checklist Ann blogs about marriage, motherhood, and more!  She helps women build better life balance and grow great marriages.  Ann blogs on Crosswalk.com, and has been featured on BlogHer.com, Fox news, and Good Morning America.  She loves that we can choose to take our best steps forward – forGod, for the people in our lives, and for ourselves

You can read more from Dr. Ann at TheMarriageChecklist.comon Facebook, or on Twitter.

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Are you ready then?  Let’s go!

Copyright Dr. Ann 2012

(photo credit: scott chan)