Originally published Monday, 14 March 2016.
How do you handle when someone disagrees with you about something? Especially something that you’re passionate about, or feel that you are right on. Do you respond calmly or do you get upset? I think the reality is that people are going to disagree with us sometimes for one reason or another. Yet, I believe the deciding factor is really more about how we deal with it vs. whether they agree or disagree.
When it comes to disagreements, God is looking at our response to the situation. Mainly because He’s looking for us to mature in the faith. He’s looking for spiritual growth through each test, trial, or pop quiz. And sometimes disagreements are those pop quizzes!
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.” (NLT) Think about this for a moment. When you are in a conversation with someone, but then it suddenly turns into a disagreement, you have two choices. Argue back and forth with that individual to prove your point or calm down and come to grips that they may not see your point of view at that very moment or ever. That’s when you have to let go and let God decide. And that my sister, is choosing the humble road.
Trust me. I know choosing the humble road is NOT easy. But remember, a soft answer turns away wrath. And it really does. Look at this way, if one of you decides to calm down and agree to disagree for that moment or at least until you both can think clearly, you may be able to find a resolve. But if you go toe-to-toe to prove that you are right, it could get really ugly fast and damage the relationship. So choosing to be humble and give a calm answer, is definitely best for everyone.
Personally, I had a situation happen to me in regards to someone not agreeing with me, and it could’ve turned ugly. The conversation started out great, but then as I began to open up more about how I felt about a particular incident, the person began to disagree with me. Immediately, I felt the heat rising in my body. I felt anger building up inside of me. But shortly thereafter, I also felt the Holy Spirit’s presence. I knew that I had to make a choice. It was either keep going to prove my point or turn away and let the Lord deal with it.
Well, in the end, I chose to humble myself by staying calm and walking away from the situation to let the Lord choose who was right or wrong. Also, for the sake of peace and maintaining a healthy relationship, I chose to just let it go. That wasn’t easy for me. In my flesh, I wanted to go on and on and prove my case that I was right and the other person was wrong, but God intervened. And I’m glad He did. He later proved that what I was saying was actually right. I just had to eat humble pie first. Ouch!
Humility always wins!!! It’s true! First Peter 5:5 says, “...And all of you, serve each other in humility, for ‘God opposes the proud, but favors the humble.’” (NLT) I don’t know about you, but I need God’s favor on my life. I like those supernatural, sweet surprises from heaven. Humility is one of the keys to receiving those favorable blessings! Pride hinders them.
Listen, sis. Choose being the bigger person. Choose being calm when you feel yourself rising up on the inside. Choose humility. Choose peace. Romans 12:18 tells us, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” (NLT) Having a gentle answer and choosing peace is so powerful when you’re in the middle of a disagreement. At the end of the day, it’s all about making the right choices.
Also, keep in mind that the Holy Spirit is always right there to remind you of God’s Word. The golden key is choosing to obey it when He reminds you. And know that even if you are proven to be wrong, STILL eat humble pie. Just grow from your mistakes. Because who knows, later on, the Lord may turn your mess into a message. It’s all about spiritual maturity.
With that being said, the next time someone disagrees with you or you get into a disagreement with someone (because you will), choose the Word over your feelings or emotions. Pause and consider (Selah) and choose the proper response. Let God fight your battle for you, because guess what? He never loses.
Remember, Jesus is coming back soon. And those who endure unto the end, shall be saved. Let’s be ready from the Inside Out.
*If you have lost control of your emotions in a recent disagreement with a friend, co-worker, sister in Christ, leader, or even your hubby if you’re married, if you can…make it right. Pray and ask God to forgive you, repent, and try to make peace in the situation. It’s humbling (and it may even be embarrassing to go back to apologize), but it’s the right thing to do. And it will free you up. Keep in mind, this is all about spiritual growth. Feel free to write in @ firstname.lastname@example.org if you need advice about something in regards to this topic.
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