Courtnaye is a Christian blogger who loves writing to help women grow in their walk with the Lord. It's all about real talk, real issues, and real life in the faith! Don't miss out on her weekly posts every Monday at 7:30am on www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org
I believe it’s time to have this discussion. I can honestly say that I haven’t written on this topic before in such depth, but I felt led to do so at this time. God knows why. So if you’re reading this right now (whenever you clicked onto this post), I believe that our good Lord has you on His mind and heart. He loves you and wants to deposit something to you in His own special and loving way. With that being said, let’s talk about sexual purity.
Whether you’re single or married, sex and sexual morality (or immorality) is something that comes up in the mind, conversations, Internet, social media, television, and even discussed in our churches. So I’m going to dig in a little deeper and talk about how to live a pure life in various situations from a very real and biblical perspective.
I want to start with a particular verse to help set the tone for this post. It’s 2 Timothy 2:21, “If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.”
THIS is why this is so important. I know that you want to be a vessel that God can use in a mighty good way. And what I am going to share with you will help you to accomplish this with a clear conscience and a pure heart. So let’s tackle the mind first, because I believe that’s where the battle begins, especially as it relates to this topic.
If you’re thinking impure thoughts, quench them with the Word quickly. In other words, if you’re single and you’re thinking lustful thoughts about a guy in your mind or you’ve already gone to the bedroom in your mind - renew your thoughts (Romans 12:2). While it’s totally natural to be attracted to someone, God still wouldn’t want you fantasizing about him sexually, because that’s when it becomes an impure thought. Also, if you’re married and you’re thinking impure thoughts in any way, renew your mind with the Word as well. This will help you get back into the “clean/pure” zone (Philippians 4:8 – “think on things that are pure”).
Next, I want to tackle pornography. Whether you’ve watched it while you were young or struggling with it today (because women struggle too), allow God to purge you from it in every possible way. Don’t entertain it in your mind or actions. Fight it off with the Word of God. This will take intentional effort, renewing your mind, and self-control. The Holy Spirit can definitely help you. But this is such a choice when you find yourself being tempted again. This goes for single and married women. Remember, the goal here is to be sexually pure.
Also, whether you are at work or church, watch your relationships with the opposite sex. Being too friendly, is being just that – too friendly. Sometimes those giggly conversations can unintentionally become more than you ever intended, and then you find yourself in an emotional affair (or physical affair) if you’re married or in an unwanted relationship if you’re single. Now, I need to say this for single women – you can meet your potential husband at work or church. Totally realistic! My point here is to keep it clean in the sight of God. ;-)
SINGLE WOMEN – I want to say something as it relates to creating boundaries. Some believe in it and some don’t. No matter where you are on the subject, I hope and pray this will help in either case. Try not to be alone with a guy (i.e. his home or apartment), because this is when sex (see fornication in the Bible) can become a thing. You know what I mean. So keep it public vs. private. If you have any questions or need a little more advice on some things, you can email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll talk further. ;-)
NOW…you also have to guard yourself against the spirit of homosexuality. Yep! Reason being is because this is becoming a very common practice of our day, and we as Christian women are not exempt. Lust doesn’t have a face (figure of speech). Meaning, the enemy can manifest himself in whatever form he wants to get you to sin against God with your mind and body.
And since homosexuality is becoming more prevalent and promoted today, I want to share with you a very enlightening New Testament passage of Scripture found in 1 Corinthians 6:6-10, “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people-none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” This is God’s Word.
But here’s the transformation side of things found in verse 11… “Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God.” *This is absolutely true. If you practiced any of this, including homosexuality and adultery, but repented, you were cleansed and made holy…so don’t go back to it. Stay clean. Stay free. (And if you’re struggling here now, salvation and deliverance is here for you today).
Lastly, I want to share with you a few Scriptures that I pray will help you live a sexually pure life as a Christian woman…
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.”
- Ephesians 5:3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
- Proverbs 6:27, “Can a man swoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?”
- Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
- Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
- Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
- 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself. For God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”
- 2 Timothy 2:22, “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”
I hope this has helped, sis. Just know that wherever you are on this topic, help is just a prayer and Scripture verse away. Also, if you’re struggling or need an accountability partner to help you stay pure, pick up the phone, email or inbox someone that you know can be trusted in confidence. That could be a close friend, mentor, counselor, pastor’s wife, or godly woman who will give you sound, wise godly advice, and pray with and for you. You and I can live sexually pure lives, today. It just takes effort on our part with the help of the Holy Spirit. ;-)
Remember, Jesus is coming back soon. And those who endure unto the end, shall be saved. Let’s be ready from the Inside Out.
QUESTION: Are you struggling in any of these areas today, sis? If you are or have a question, you can email me directly @ email@example.com. I look forward to hearing from you and praying for you.
ALSO, my NEW 8-Week Study Guide and Video Teaching Series from my book, "IDENTIFIED: Knowing Who You Are in Christ & Moving Forward in Your Purpose” is FINALLY available!!! Purchase here.
*Tune in every Monday at 7:30am for new posts, “Like” my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/InsideOutWCourtnaye), and follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/InOutwCourtnaye. Also, share this blog with friends, family, co-workers, or your women’s group or ministry. I’d love to stay connected and help more women grow in the Lord! Thanks again and may God be with you!