Courtnaye is a Christian blogger who loves writing to help women grow in their walk with the Lord. It's all about real talk, real issues, and real life in the faith! Don't miss out on her weekly posts every Monday at 7:30am on www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org
In this post, I have a quick test that I’d love for you to take! It’s on flattery. It should only take less than 60 seconds. But in the meantime, let me ask you this question. Did you know that flattery is a sin? YES! It is - so run from it like a plague!
And what I mean by that is, run from doing it. In all actuality, it doesn’t really help the receiver or hearer, because if you’re honest, it doesn’t come from a genuine place. Flattery itself comes from a place of “need,” “want,” or “greed.” It can come in the form of a compliment, request, connection, or manipulation. It’s really a false sense of encouragement, approval, or acceptance from or to others.
The term flattery itself means excessive and insincere praise, especially when given to further one’s own interests. It usually has ulterior motives. It’s like saying, “Your hair looks really nice today, friend.” But in actuality, it doesn’t really look all that nice. Instead, you just need a favor from her. So you’re flattering her, hoping that by paying her a nice compliment, it will butter her up enough to soften her heart to do what you need. Not good, sis!
Here’s another example. In the past, if you knew deep down that someone didn’t do something right or didn’t do a great job, but you complimented them anyway mainly because you needed them to keep doing the job for you, that’s flattery (even if someone did the same thing to you). A genuine compliment will come from a sincere place and with absolutely no strings attached. It will truly be beneficial. If we’re honest, I would think that many of us have been guilty of this at some point or another, but maybe didn’t realize that it was in fact flattery.
Here’s the flattery test…
1.) Ever paid someone a compliment, knowing that it wasn’t true, simply because you needed something from him or her? Guilty or Innocent?
2.) Ever manipulated someone for a favor or to get your way by telling them something kind? Guilty or Innocent?
3.) Ever tried connecting with someone on social media, such as Instagram or Twitter, by paying a complete stranger a compliment for a random post - just to get them to follow you back in return? Guilty or Innocent? (I hate to admit it, but I have done that! #guilty #thisgeneration #badadvice #why #nomore)
All of these are simply examples of flattery. God doesn't like it. Reason being is because it just doesn't come from a sincere place. It’s actually a lie. And it just makes the other person feel good, but deep down, it’s simply not true (and if they have a discerning heart, they will know that it’s not genuine and you will come across as insincere). The Bible tells us in Psalm 12:2, “Neighbors lie to each other, speaking with flattering lips and deceitful hearts.” (NLT) Yuck!
It’s deceitful according to the Bible. So here’s the remedy to overcoming a deceitful heart as it relates to flattery. In regards to social media, repent and connect genuinely. If we really want to connect with others, we need to reach out because we really “like” their stuff and we truly want to follow them. And if they want to follow us back…ding, ding, ding! CONNECTION! Cool points for us and those individuals! But if not, let’s continue to get our followers organically as Christian women. Agreed? ;-)
Also, if someone truly does have a nice haircut or style, say it with love and in truth with nothing attached, and then keep moving forward. In addition, if you need a favor, ask. All the other person can say is, “No, I can’t right now.” It’s totally okay. Take it and trust the Lord to provide for you in a way that only He can do.
One more thing on social media. God will connect you to the right people, whether on social media or in person. Keep in mind that He is the One who can give you favor with Him and man. ;-) So let Him create those divine connections for you that will make a difference for you and the other party for the long haul.
At the end of the day, be authentic. Be you. Be true. And let’s run from flattery!
Remember, Jesus is coming back soon! And those who endure unto the end shall be saved. So let’s be ready from the Inside Out!
QUESTION: Are you guilty of flattery, sis? Need prayer in this area? If so, you can email me directly at [email protected] today. I look forward to hearing from you soon! God bless!
ALSO, my NEW 8-Week Study Guide and Video Teaching Series from my book, "IDENTIFIED: Knowing Who You Are in Christ & Moving Forward in Your Purpose” is FINALLY available!!! Purchase here.
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