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About Courtnaye Richard

Courtnaye is a Christian blogger who loves writing to help women grow in their walk with the Lord. It's all about real talk, real issues, and real life in the faith! Don't miss out on her weekly posts every Monday at 7:30am on www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org. For more info or questions, you can visit Courtnaye’s website or contact her via email. Also be sure to "Like" her page on Facebook. God bless!  

Courtnaye Richard

Courtnaye Richard
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Courtnaye is a Christian blogger who loves writing to help women grow in their walk with the Lord. It's all about real talk, real issues, and real life in the faith! Don't miss out on her weekly posts every Monday at 7:30am on www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org. For more info or questions, you can visit Courtnaye’s website or contact her via email. Also be sure to "Like" her page on Facebook. God bless!  

When, If, and How to Confront Someone

                                          www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org

Hands down, confrontation is not easy. I think I could vouch for many when I say, "No one really likes confrontation." Mainly, because it's awkward. Other reasons I believe are because we don't quite know how the other person will respond. Yet, that's when we have to pray and decide when, if, and how we need to confront someone.

Again, one reason why I think we don’t jump at the opportunity with great excitement or determination to confront someone is because we don’t know their reaction. For instance, will he or she lie about their actions, act like they have no clue what you're talking about, get defensive or angry, react like you're accusing them of something, or act differently towards you because you had to deal with the issue concerning them. Another reason is because as a child of God, we genuinely have a desire to confront and respond properly, yet that doesn’t mean that it’s easier.

Personally, I have to confront two situations at the time of this writing. I don’t really want to, but I know that I have to at some point, because these two particular individuals haven’t stopped their actions. Both have said and done some things that have hurt and upset me. And the more it goes unchecked, the more uncomfortable it will be to interact with them. Hence, I need to confront them. I’m praying about the timing (when) at this point. (NOTE: I’d appreciate the prayers that both go over well)

The whole point of confronting someone is conflict resolution (and to hopefully and prayerfully get the other individual to understand that what they’ve done affected you in some way and was not right). Now, I have to say, sometimes it could very well be unintentional or a misunderstanding altogether, but sometimes they just may be doing something that is plain wrong. That’s when you have to decide if, when, and how to confront them.

So, let’s dig into when, if, and how to confront someone with a few biblical and practical tips. Here goes…

When – Decide when is a good time to confront the person who has offended, hurt, or upset you. I can honestly tell you that confronting them when you’re really angry is NOT a good time, sis. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 29:22, “An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.” (NLT) So wait until you’re not as hot about it. Give it at least 24 hours to pray about it. Ultimately, God knows what to do and when you need to approach the issue and person. So be sensitive to your own emotions, calm down, pray about it and for the individual, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you to set the right time to call or have the conversation (and to have the right words).

If – You also need to decide “if” you need to confront the person at all. Some things are not that serious. If it was a one-time thing, let it go. Forgive quickly and keep moving forward. Don’t get me wrong, in every situation we need to forgive, but the point here is that if the offense was something that didn’t really bother you, shake it off and keep going. Some things are not worth fretting over. Proverbs 24:19 says, “Do not fret because of evil doers.” You have to watch out for the enemy who is just waiting for a fight or argument to break out unnecessarily. Don’t give into his bait. #moveon

How – For starters, pray. Ask the Lord how you should go about confronting the person. He knows. He may lead you directly through the Holy Spirit, a book, article, blog, or wise counsel. Look for Him and listen to Him in the way that you should go. He may lead you to call the individual or meet up in person. It may be over coffee or in a less formal setting. In either case, when you know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is leading you to confront the person, you need to do it. He will show you exactly how. He will be with you. So, don’t be afraid. But here's a quick and powerful biblical tip from James 1:19, “...Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Apply this as you’re confronting the individual. (Good memory verse, by the way)

Listen, sis. Resolving conflict and confronting people is not easy. Trust me. I know. But it’s a way to free everyone - including you.

*A good book that I want to recommend in this blog post is, “Conflict Resolution: Solving Your People Problems” by June Hunt. Grab it today on Amazon!

Remember, Jesus is coming back soon! And those who endure unto the end shall be saved. So let’s be ready from the Inside Out!

~Courtnaye

QUESTION: Where are you on this issue right now, sis? Do you feel the need to confront an issue with someone? Do you have a question or need prayer in this area? If so, you can email me directly at [email protected] today. I look forward to hearing from you soon! God bless!

ALSO, my NEW 8-Week Study Guide and Video Teaching Series from my book, "IDENTIFIED: Knowing Who You Are in Christ & Moving Forward in Your Purpose” is FINALLY available!!! Purchase here.

Let's Connect!

*Tune in every Monday at 7:30am for new posts, “Like” my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/InsideOutWCourtnaye), and follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/InOutwCourtnaye. Also, share this blog with friends, family, co-workers, or your women’s group or ministry. I’d love to stay connected and help more women grow in the Lord! Thanks again and may God be with you!


Run from Flattery

                                          www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org

In this post, I have a quick test that I’d love for you to take! It’s on flattery. It should only take less than 60 seconds. But in the meantime, let me ask you this question. Did you know that flattery is a sin? YES! It is - so run from it like a plague!

And what I mean by that is, run from doing it. In all actuality, it doesn’t really help the receiver or hearer, because if you’re honest, it doesn’t come from a genuine place. Flattery itself comes from a place of “need,” “want,” or “greed.” It can come in the form of a compliment, request, connection, or manipulation. It’s really a false sense of encouragement, approval, or acceptance from or to others.

The term flattery itself means excessive and insincere praise, especially when given to further one’s own interests. It usually has ulterior motives. It’s like saying, “Your hair looks really nice today, friend.” But in actuality, it doesn’t really look all that nice. Instead, you just need a favor from her. So you’re flattering her, hoping that by paying her a nice compliment, it will butter her up enough to soften her heart to do what you need. Not good, sis!

Here’s another example. In the past, if you knew deep down that someone didn’t do something right or didn’t do a great job, but you complimented them anyway mainly because you needed them to keep doing the job for you, that’s flattery (even if someone did the same thing to you). A genuine compliment will come from a sincere place and with absolutely no strings attached. It will truly be beneficial. If we’re honest, I would think that many of us have been guilty of this at some point or another, but maybe didn’t realize that it was in fact flattery.

Here’s the flattery test…

1.) Ever paid someone a compliment, knowing that it wasn’t true, simply because you needed something from him or her? Guilty or Innocent?

2.) Ever manipulated someone for a favor or to get your way by telling them something kind? Guilty or Innocent?

3.) Ever tried connecting with someone on social media, such as Instagram or Twitter, by paying a complete stranger a compliment for a random post - just to get them to follow you back in return? Guilty or Innocent? (I hate to admit it, but I have done that! #guilty #thisgeneration #badadvice #why #nomore)

All of these are simply examples of flattery. God doesn't like it. Reason being is because it just doesn't come from a sincere place. It’s actually a lie. And it just makes the other person feel good, but deep down, it’s simply not true (and if they have a discerning heart, they will know that it’s not genuine and you will come across as insincere). The Bible tells us in Psalm 12:2, “Neighbors lie to each other, speaking with flattering lips and deceitful hearts.” (NLT) Yuck!

It’s deceitful according to the Bible. So here’s the remedy to overcoming a deceitful heart as it relates to flattery. In regards to social media, repent and connect genuinely. If we really want to connect with others, we need to reach out because we really “like” their stuff and we truly want to follow them. And if they want to follow us back…ding, ding, ding! CONNECTION! Cool points for us and those individuals! But if not, let’s continue to get our followers organically as Christian women. Agreed? ;-)

Also, if someone truly does have a nice haircut or style, say it with love and in truth with nothing attached, and then keep moving forward. In addition, if you need a favor, ask. All the other person can say is, “No, I can’t right now.” It’s totally okay. Take it and trust the Lord to provide for you in a way that only He can do.

One more thing on social media. God will connect you to the right people, whether on social media or in person. Keep in mind that He is the One who can give you favor with Him and man. ;-)  So let Him create those divine connections for you that will make a difference for you and the other party for the long haul.

At the end of the day, be authentic. Be you. Be true. And let’s run from flattery!

Remember, Jesus is coming back soon! And those who endure unto the end shall be saved. So let’s be ready from the Inside Out!

~Courtnaye

QUESTION: Are you guilty of flattery, sis? Need prayer in this area? If so, you can email me directly at [email protected] today. I look forward to hearing from you soon! God bless!

ALSO, my NEW 8-Week Study Guide and Video Teaching Series from my book, "IDENTIFIED: Knowing Who You Are in Christ & Moving Forward in Your Purpose” is FINALLY available!!! Purchase here.

*Tune in every Monday at 7:30am for new posts, “Like” my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/InsideOutWCourtnaye), and follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/InOutwCourtnaye. Also, share this blog with friends, family, co-workers, or your women’s group or ministry. I’d love to stay connected and help more women grow in the Lord! Thanks again and may God be with you!


Don't Doubt Yourself

                                         www.insideoutwithcourtnaye.org

I’m going to jump right into this one, because I want to encourage you right from the start! What’s got you doubting yourself? Were there negative words spoken to you (or over you)? Have you been meditating on negative thoughts that the enemy has planted in your mind and now you’re entertaining them? If so, shake them off, sis. Don’t let that stuff weigh you down. Don’t doubt yourself any longer, because God wouldn’t want you to!

Actually, the opposite of doubt is belief. And as a child of God, you have the faith inside of you to flip it. Reverse it - to believe! So do it.

Examine your life right now to see what do you need to believe about you, today? What do you need to believe about who God says you are? What do you need to believe about what God is calling you to do? For instance, if God has given you a vision for something, He will provide the provision for it. He will show you step by step what to do and He will provide everything you need to accomplish His will in your life.

Realistically, we all experience doubt at some point or another - even people in the Bible experienced it. Remember, Doubting Thomas. He was a follower of Jesus, yet he doubted. The greatest prophet that ever lived, which was John the Baptist, doubted for a moment if Jesus was who He said He was after he (John) was arrested (Matthew 11:2). Moses doubted his own ability to speak for the Lord when he was called to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land. Sarah (of Abraham) doubted that she could have a baby, because she was barren and felt that she was too old to give birth to a child. In all of these doubtful situations, God showed Himself mightily in the midst of it, and He’s right here to help you overcome it, too.

So, no more doubting yourself, sis. Don’t doubt who you are. Don’t doubt your faith. Don’t doubt your abilities. Don’t doubt what God is calling you to do – even if you’re not seeing things happen fast enough or at all?

Remember, what God’s Word says in Zechariah 4:10, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin….” And Ecclesiastes 3:11 also says, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.” So don’t doubt, my sister.

Just kick those negative thoughts out and choose to believe God. He is with you. He’s ready and willing to help you take those brave steps to do what He’s predestined you to do and say what He needs you to say, and in His perfect timing and way. Also, even if you feel insecure about something or inadequate, God can fill in the gaps supernaturally like He did with Moses or in some other way. He can train, equip, provide for you, and teach you through the power of His Word, the Holy Spirit, and through anointed books, resources, and teachers. So again, don’t doubt yourself or your potential.

Hold onto what my 13 year old daughter told me awhile back, “Choose to speak faith, even though your mind is being bombarded with doubt.” Out of the mouths of babes, the Lord speaks! It’s time to let go of the doubt and believe in yourself and what God can do in and through you.

Remember, Jesus is coming back soon! And those who endure unto the end shall be saved. So let’s be ready from the Inside Out!

~Courtnaye

QUESTION: Are you doubting yourself, sis? If so, what about? If you need prayer, let me know. You can email here @ [email protected]. I look forward to hearing from you!

ALSO, my NEW 8-Week Study Guide and Video Teaching Series from my book, "IDENTIFIED: Knowing Who You Are in Christ & Moving Forward in Your Purpose” is FINALLY available!!! Purchase here.

*Tune in every Monday at 7:30am for new posts, “Like” my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/InsideOutWCourtnaye), and follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/InOutwCourtnaye. Also, share this blog with friends, family, co-workers, or your women’s group or ministry. I’d love to stay connected and help more women grow in the Lord! Thanks again and may God be with you!